England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Stepmothers -- Fiction
It is to be feared he was thinking of this more than of the music as he
played through King in F, which was the service for that morning. And he
left Purcell to play the voluntary and stole out unobserved, though it
was indecorous, before the congregation had dispersed. He threaded
through the dim aisles and the cloisters, before Wykeham had time to
call attention to him by hobbling after him with his jangling keys. He,
like Lottie, had resolved to give himself no time to think of it, to do
it at once. Ridsdale!--What a vain fool he was, talking about giving up
opera and taking to oratorios! What could he do with her, if he had got
her? His manager had rejected Lottie, and gone off after that voice at
Milan. What fools they all were! and what would be the advantage to
Ridsdale of having this voice untrained on his hands? What could he do
with her? but there was nothing she might not do under the guidance of
the Signor.
It was still early when he reached the little house: Lottie had not
attempted to go out this morning to see the Signor, she was too much
shaken by her escapade of last night. How could she have done it? She,
who had loathed the idea of becoming a singer! She had made a singer of
herself by her own act and deed, and she felt the full meaning of what
she had done. She had got up early, unable in her excitement to sleep,
and tingling still with the consequences of this strange,
unpremeditated, unintended self-betrayal. What was it that had made her
do it? She had got her work, and she had placed herself near the
window--not so near as to be seen, yet near enough to be able to glance
out and see anyone who might be coming that way. There were things to be
done in the house, domestic operations of more importance than the
needlework. But Lottie said to herself that they could wait--oh, they
could wait! In the meantime what was best was, that she should be ready
in case anyone called, ready to see anybody that might come over the
road across the sunshine, in the morning quiet. “Good night; but only
till to-morrow”--what was it that had conveyed to her the consciousness
that he was there? The Abbey had been dark--she had not been thinking of
him--certainly she had not known that he was looked for; and yet, what
but the sense that he was there would have made her do what she had
done? She had sung unwillingly, unwittingly, in spite of herself,
because he was there. It all seemed quite plain to Lottie. He it was
(she thought) who had first made her aware that this gift of hers was
anything worth thinking of; he it was who had first given her the
supreme pleasure of consciousness, who had shown to her the happiness
she could bestow. Her voice (as she thought), if after all it was really
worth anything, if it was the thing he thought it, the thing it sounded
like last night--belonged to him. It was his spiritually; he had
discovered it, and revealed it to herself. She had not been aware what
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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