England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Stepmothers -- Fiction
might have become too entirely the law of her being; but well or ill she
still did her duty, and her realisation of the result was perfectly
simple. What but one thing could all this lead to? No doubt invaded
Lottie’s inexperienced mind; how could she doubt that Rollo loved her?
What proof was wanting that man could give? They had not yet spoken of
that love, though they had several times approached to the very verge of
an explanation, from which generally it was she who shrank with a shy
prolonging of that delicious uncertainty which was no uncertainty at
all. How could Lottie have any doubt? It was not necessary even for her
to say to herself that he was good and true. True!--she no more thought
of falsehood than Eve had thought of the serpent before he hissed his
first question into her ear. She did not understand what lying meant,
practical lying of this kind. She let the sweet current sweep her on
with many a heart-beat; but why should she be distrustful of it? What
could love lead to but happiness? Lottie could not think of anything
more.
And thus the time went on. Augusta Huntington (Mrs. Daventry) was coming
home with her husband in a day or two; and though Lottie thought she
would be glad to see her old friend, she had a little secret fear of
anything now happening. All was very well as it was. To meet Rollo
accidentally as he smoked his cigar on the Slopes would not be so easy
if his cousin were at the Deanery. He would not be able to get out so
easily, and probably she would find a great many new ways of employing
him which would take him out of Lottie’s way. She did not like to look
forward to it; and after Augusta’s visit Rollo too would go away. It
would be almost winter, and he could not stop any longer. All the
shooting and the deerstalking and the round of visits to great people,
on which he ought to be going, he had given up for her. What could the
reason be but for her? The thought that this moment of happiness was
approaching an end, was sad to Lottie, even though it should, as was
natural, be followed by greater happiness still. How her dull life had
flowered and blossomed out, made beautiful by the thought that he was
near her, this man who loved her--who had loved her long before she had
loved him, but whom now she too--! He was near, she remembered every
morning when she woke; some time in the day she would be sure to see
him--nay, half a dozen times in the day, if only strolling down the
Dean’s Walk looking at her window, and in the Abbey, and perhaps, while
she took her lesson, listening to her with soft eyes; perhaps walking
home with her; perhaps just turning round that old elm-tree on the
Slopes as she came out for her evening walk; always looking for her so
eagerly, seeking her, with a hundred little tender cares, and something
in his eyes which was more than all. Could it be possible to be happier
than now? She was keeping off the _éclaircissement_ with delicious shy
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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