England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Stepmothers -- Fiction
“Oh, why should you kneel to me?” she said. “Do you think it needs
_that_?” While he, more happy than ever he had been in his life,
alarmed, disturbed, shaken out of all his habits and traditions, held
her fast, like a new-found treasure, and lavished every tender word upon
her that language could supply. He owed her a million apologies, of not
one of which Lottie was conscious. How could it have been possible for
her to suppose that even for a second, in his inmost thoughts, he had
been less than reverent of her? And he--had he meant any harm! He did
not think he had meant any harm; yet how, in the name of heaven, was he
to marry--how was he to marry--in his present circumstances? While he
was pouring out upon Lottie his love and worship, telling her how she
had gathered to herself day by day all his thoughts and wishes, this
question rose up again in his heart.
“I know,” said Lottie, very low--her voice still trembling with the
first ecstasy of feeling. It was like the dove’s voice, all tenderness
and pathos, coming out of her very heart. “I guessed it long--oh, long
ago----”
“How did you do that? Whisper, darling--tell me--when did you first
think----?”
Is not this the A B C of lovers? and yet her tone implied a little more
than the happy divining of the easy secret. She laughed softly--a
variety of music in his ear--the two faces were so close.
“You did not think I knew anything about it. I saw you--looking up at my
window--the very night of the wedding. Do you remember?” Again Lottie’s
low happy laugh broke into the middle of her words. “I could not think
what it meant. And then another time before I knew you--and then----
You did not suppose I saw you. I could not believe it,” she said, with a
soft sigh of content. Laugh or sigh, what did it matter, they meant the
same: the delight of a discovery which was no discovery--the happy right
of confessing a consciousness which she dared not have betrayed an hour
ago--of being able to speak of it all: the two together, alone in all
the world, wanting nothing and no one. This was what Lottie meant. But
her disclosures struck her lover dumb. What would she say if she knew
his real object then? A prima donna who was to make his fortune--a new
voice to be produced in an opera! He shuddered as he drew her closer to
him, with terror--with compunction, though he had meant no harm. And he
loved her now if he did not love her then; with all his heart now--all
the more tenderly, he thought, that she had mistaken him, that she had
been so innocently deceived.
By this time it had got dark, though they did not observe it; yet not
quite dark, for it is rarely dark out of doors under the free skies, as
it is within four walls. It was Lottie who suddenly awoke to this fact
with a start.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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