England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Stepmothers -- Fiction
It was cold--but he did not feel the cold--and the wind was still
strong, blowing the black branches wildly about the leaden sky. The
Dean’s garden was bounded by the Slopes, only a low and massive grey
wall, as old as the buttresses amid which the lawn was set, separating
it from the larger grounds, which were open to the community--and Rollo
leaning on that wall could almost see the spot where he had sat with
Lottie, when she had clasped her hands on his arm, leaning upon him with
delicious trust, and giving up all her future into his hands. Even then
what a difference there had been between them!--she throwing herself
upon him in utter faith and confidence, feeling herself delivered
completely and at once from all the troubles that overwhelmed her; while
he, even in the thrill of pleasure which that soft weight and pressure
gave him, felt his heart jump with such sudden alarm as words could not
describe. Now, when he thought it over, the alarm was more than the
pleasure. Lottie, retired into her little chamber, was at that hour
going over the whole scene with the tenderest happiness and
reliance--feeling safe with him, feeling free of all responsibility, not
even forecasting the future, safe and relieved from all the anxieties of
the past, caring for nothing but this moment, this exquisite climax of
life, this perfect union that had begun and was never to end. Very, very
different were Rollo’s thoughts. How was he to do it? Marry! the very
idea seemed impossible. It involved disclosure, and disclosure would be
madness. What would his relations say to him?--what would his friends
say to him? His tradesmen would send in their bills, his associates
would contemplate him with the very horror of astonishment. Ridsdale
married! as well cut his throat at once. Had he ever thought of the
little _ménage_ on which Lottie’s thoughts (had they been free to plan
anything) would have dwelt with simple pride and happiness, he would
have been disposed really to cut his throat. In such a case Lottie would
have been sure of her own powers--sure that if they were poor she could
make their money go twice as far as Rollo by himself could make it
go--and could much more than balance her share of the expenses by the
housewifely powers which it would have been her delight and her ambition
to exercise. But to Rollo love in a cottage was a simple folly, meaning
nothing. The very idea was so foreign to him that it never entered into
his mind at all. What did enter into his mind, as the only hope in the
blank of the future, was of a very different description. It was the
original idea which had first of all moved him towards this girl, who
gradually had awakened within him so many other sentiments: her voice.
Should he be able to produce this as he hoped, then there would be a way
of escape from the difficulty. The Manager had behaved like a fool, but
Rollo had not changed his opinion. Though he had fallen in love with the
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