England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Stepmothers -- Fiction
“You are not angry?” she said, almost wooing him in her turn. “Rollo, it
is not that I do not trust you, you know; who should I trust but you? If
that were all, I would put my hand in yours; you should take me
wherever you pleased. But then there are the other things to be
considered. And, Rollo, don’t be angry,” she said, drawing his arm
within hers, “I can bear anything now. After talking to you, after
feeling your sympathy, I can bear anything. What do I care for a woman
like that? Of course I knew,” said Lottie, with tears in her eyes, “that
you did feel for me, that you thought of me, that you were always on my
side. But one wants to have it said over again to make assurance sure.
Now I can bear anything, now I can go home--though it is not much
home--and wait, till you come and fetch me, Rollo, openly, in the light,
in the day.”
Here, because she was so happy, Lottie put her hands up to her face and
laid those hands upon his shoulder and cried there in such a heavenly
folly of pain and blessedness as words could not describe. That he
should not claim her at once, that was a pain to her; and to think of
that strange, horrible house to which she must creep back, that was pain
which no happiness could altogether drive out of her thoughts. But yet,
how happy she was! What did it matter if for the moment her heart was
often sore? A little while and all would be well; a little while and she
would be delivered out of all these troubles. It was only a question of
courage, of endurance, of fortitude, and patience; and Lottie had got
back her inspiration, and felt herself capable of bearing anything,
everything, with a stout heart. But Rollo had neither recovered his
speech nor his self-possession; shame and anger were in his heart. He
had not been found out, but the very awe of escape was mingled with
intolerable anger; anger no doubt chiefly against himself, but also a
little against her, though why he could not have said. The
unconsciousness of her innocence, which had impressed him so deeply at
first and confounded all his calculations, began to irritate him. How
was it possible she did not understand? was there stupidity as well as
innocence in it? Most people would have had no difficulty in
understanding, it would have been as clear as noonday--or, rather, as
clear as gaslight; as evident as any “intention” could be. He could not
bear this superiority, this obtuseness of believing; it offended him,
notwithstanding that he had made by it what he felt to be the greatest
escape of his life.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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