Families -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- History -- 19th century -- Fiction
He was a little cruel to the horse he hired and spared the poor hack
neither uphill nor down. But then he was fiercelier lashed by his own
torment.
At last his home swung into view—benign, serene, secure. No lightning,
no fire, no storm had ripped open its walls. There was no excitement
visible except in the fluttering of of a few birds—or were they belated
leaves? The tulip tree stood up, awake, erect, the safe trustee of the
home.
When he passed the Lasher place, he was afraid to go fast lest his
guilt be implied in his haste. He let the galled jade jog. He even
turned and looked the Lasher hovel straight in the face. As the guilty
do, he stared it right in the eyes.
But Mrs. Lasher did not even turn to look at him. She was splitting
wood and her bony fleshless arms seemed to give the ax three helves.
Her head was simply an old sunbonnet. She was faceless, blind and deaf
to everything but work—an old woodpecker of a woman hammering at a
life that was hard and harsh. Yet it was not quite satisfying to have
her so stupid. It was not pleasant to remember that Jud himself was
notoriously worthless.
Strange, that to assassinate a Cæsar or a Henry of Navarre, to put
a Socrates to the hemlock, was of a certain cruel nobility, but to
annihilate an imbecile infamous! It was like stepping on a toad in the
dark.
And this modern theory, that the insane and the criminal and the
witless were poor sick people to be sorry for, was disturbing. Once
the abnormal people had been accused of selling themselves to devils,
renting their bodies to hellish tenants, earning an everlasting home in
hell. But now it was the fashion to say that they were poor souls whom
fate had given only broken or incomplete machines to work with, and
that their punishment was a crime.
If it were true, then he had beaten to death a sick boy whose fearful
deed had been the fumbling of a dolt. Even if it were untrue, he had
sent a wicked youth to hell and Jud would now be frying and shrieking
somewhere under RoBards’ feet.
RoBards fell into such abysmal brooding that he did not notice how
the horse, a stranger to these roads, had turned into a lane and was
no longer advancing but browsing on autumnal fare, nibbling with
prehensile lip at an old rail. The horse himself was an imbecile of his
kind.
For a long while RoBards struggled with black thoughts, each more
dreadful than the other. He was like a man held at the bottom of the
sea by a slimy devilfish, with searing poison and cold fire in the very
touch of each writhing, enveloping arm.
He tore himself loose from all the arms at once with a wild resolve,
like an outcry:
“I’ll not think about it any longer! I’ll go mad if I do!”
He heard his own voice clattering across the fields, woke, looked
about, and felt lost before he realized that he was in one of his own
meadows.
He turned and backed the gig, and reached the highway again. The
farmer, Albeson, was waiting for him, laughing:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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