Families -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- History -- 19th century -- Fiction
And if the child died, where would it go? To hell if it were not
baptized first. That was sure, if anything were sure. Yet if it were
not of the elect it would go there anyway, in spite of any baptism, any
saintliness of its life.
If it lived, it would join the throng of illegitimate children. Of
these there were a thousand a year born in New York alone. What a
plague of vermin!
And what would its future be? It might become a thief, a murderer. It
might be sentenced to death for crime.
If RoBards continued his career as a judge, he would have many death
sentences to pass. His own grandchild might come before him some day.
What if he should sentence it to death now? In the good old times of
the _patria potestas_ a father could destroy an unworthy child without
punishment. Judge RoBards’ jurisdiction as a grandfather was doubly
authentic. By one curt act he could protect his daughter from endless
misery and frustration, and protect the world from this anonymous
intruder and protect this poor little waif from the monstrous cruelty
of the world.
This snowflake ought to go back to the invisible. Its existence was
God’s crime against his child. Yet he could be a god himself and by the
mere tightening of his fingers about that little wax-doll throat, fling
it back at God, rejected, broken—a toy that he refused to play with.
He owed this act to Immy. He had brought her into the world. He loved
her. He must save her from being enveloped in the curse of this world’s
hell. Let the next hell wait.
If God wanted to punish him for it forever—why, what of that? He had
committed one murder already and was already damned, no doubt. And even
God could not increase infinite torment or multiply eternity.
He laughed at the infernal mathematics of that conceit. He felt as
haughty as Lucifer challenging Jehovah. Yes, he would force his way
into that birth chamber and do his terrible duty.
The onset of this madness set him in motion. He had not realized how
long he had stood still before that open window and that bleak white
desert, where it was too cold to snow, too cold for a wind—a grim cold
like a lockjaw.
When he turned to pace the floor, his legs were mere crutches; his feet
stump-ends. It hurt to walk. He stood still and thought again.
Yes, yes! All he had to do was to close his hand upon that tiny
windpipe. It would be no more than laying hold of a pen and signing
a warrant of arrest, a warrant of death. The same muscles, the same
gesture. It would not be murder, simply an eviction—dispossess
proceedings against an undesirable tenant, a neighbor that would not
keep the peace.
He would cheat the newspapers of what they called their rights; but God
knew they had enough scandal to print without advertising his family
name. The gossips would lose one sweetmeat; but they never stopped
yapping. He would not let the men in the clubs call his grandchild a
bastard and his daughter a—the word was vomit to his throat.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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