Families -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- History -- 19th century -- Fiction
The year had begun with an exhausting day. The first guest had come
before nine and it was getting toward six when Chalender rang at the
closed door. The RoBards family was jaded with the procession of more
or less befuddled visitors, for everybody still called on everybody and
drank too much too often.
Harry Chalender had tried to see if he could not establish a record
in calls. He reached the RoBards house in a pitiable condition. He
was dressed like the fop he always was, his hair curled, oiled, and
perfumed; his handkerchief scented; his waistcoat of a flowery pattern,
his feet in patent leathers glossy as of yore. His breath was even more
confusedly aromatic with cloves than usual. He apologized thickly:
“Patty, I think I’ve done something to give me immortalily at lash.
I’ve called at shixy-sheven house between nine ’s morn’ and five ’s
even’n. And I’ve had ’s much cherry bounce I’m full of elasticicy.
I har’ly touch ground. And wines—oh, Patty! I’m a human cellar. And
food—stewed oyssers, turkey, min’ spies! But I always come back to you,
Patty, and to Immy. Seem’ you and your livin’ image, Immy, I can’t tell
whish is whish; I half suspect I’m seem’ double. Am I or—am I?”
Giggling fatuously over his wit, he fell asleep. Patty regarded him
with anger, and RoBards with disgust; but both were dazed to see that
Immy smiled and placed a cushion under his rolling head.
Drunkenness was beginning to lose its charm. In 1846 New York had
voted against the licensing of liquor dealers by a large majority.
Maine had followed with a law prohibiting the sale or manufacture of
all strong drinks under penalty of fine or imprisonment.
Three years later New York passed a copy of the Maine law and the
Temperance party’s candidate won the governorship. But nobody was
punished; clubs were formed with no other bond than thirst. The edict
was found to be a source of infinite political corruption, general
contempt for law, and tolerance for lawbreakers. It collapsed at last
and was repealed as a failure. All the old people agreed that the good
old times were gone.
Much as RoBards had despised the immemorial tendency of old people
to forget the truth of their own youth and prate of it as a time of
romantic beauty, he found himself despairing of these new times. The
new dances were appalling. The new drinks were poison. The new modes in
love were unheard of.
Once more he was wondering if it were not his duty to horsewhip
Chalender or to kill him. The horror of involving his wife in scandal
restrained him before; now his daughter was concerned.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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