Families -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- History -- 19th century -- Fiction
They had tickets for a play that night. It seemed best to go. The play
was sad at times and Patty wept softly. RoBards’ hand hunted for hers
and found it, and the two hands clung together, embracing like the
Babes in the Wood with night and the wild beasts gathering about them.
After a dreadful delay, there was a more dreadful operation, and once
more RoBards blessed the names of Morton, Jackson, and Wells for the
sleep they gave his beloved during the nightmare of the knives. But
only for a while, since the pain, after a brief frustration, flowed
back like a dammed river when the dam gives way.
When he demanded more of the drug, the physician protested: “We must
not be careless. It is a habit-forming drug, you know.”
But pain was a habit-forming poison, too. The operation was too late to
do more than prolong the day of execution.
All over the world men were delving into the ancient mystery. But
nobody knew. Nobody could find out a why or a wherefore. Some day
somebody would surely stumble on the cause and then the cure would turn
up. The answer would be simple perhaps.
But it would be too late for Patty.
What followed was unspeakable, too cruel to recount, beyond the reach
of sympathy. Minutes seemingly unbearable heaped up into hours, hours
into mornings, afternoons, slow evenings, eternal, lonely nights. Days
and nights became weeks, months.
The doctor, weary of the spectacle of Patty’s woe, gave the drug
recklessly. It had passed the point of mattering whether it were
habit-forming or not.
And then immunity began. As the disease itself was the ironic parody
of life, so the precious gift of immunity became the hideous denial of
relief.
The solace in drugs lost all potency. The poor wretch was naked before
the fiends. The hell the Bible pronounced upon the non-elect was
brought up to earth before its time.
Dr. Chirnside slept now with his fathers, but his successor called upon
Patty to minister comfort. He was a stern reversion to the Puritan type
that deified its own granite. When he was gone, Patty was in dismay
indeed. For now the torture was perfected by a last exquisite subtlety,
the only thing left to increase it: the feeling that it was deserved.
Remorse was added to the weapons of this invisible Torquemada.
From Patty’s blenched, writhen lips, between her gnashing teeth slipped
the words:
“Honey, it’s a punishment on me for my wickedness.”
“No, no, no! What wickedness have you ever done?”
“Oh, you know well enough. You cried hard enough once. And there have
been so many cruel things I have done, so many mean evil thoughts,
so many little goodnesses I put off. God is remembering those things
against me.”
“You make God more cruel than man. How could he be? It’s blasphemy to
blame him for your misery.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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