"I don't intend to starve," she said to herself, "nor to bite off
my own nose because the world is not just what mother and Millie
think it ought to be. Papa would be inclined to break that man's
head if I told him what he said and how he looked. But what would
come of it? Papa would go to jail and we into the street. Unless
papa can get up in the world again very fast, Millie and I shall find
that we have got to take care of ourselves and hold our tongues. I
hadn't been around with mamma one day before I learned that much.
Mamma and Millie were never made to be working-women. They are
over-refined and high-toned, but I can't afford too much of that
kind of thing on three dollars a week. I'm a 'shop lady'--that's
the kind of lady I'm to be--and I must come right down to what
secures success without any nonsense."
In justice it should be said that Belle's practical acceptance of
the situation looked forward to no compromise with evil; but she
had seen that she must come in contact with the world as it existed,
and that she must resolutely face the temptations incident to her
lot rather than vainly seek to escape from them. Alas! her young
eyes had only caught a faint glimpse of the influences that would
assail her untrained, half-developed moral nature. Body and soul
would be taxed to the utmost in the life upon which she was entering.
On the Sunday following Mr. Jocelyn slept so late that none of
the family went to church. Indeed, since their old relations were
broken up they scarcely knew where to go, and Mildred no more
felt that she could return to the fashionable temple in which Mrs.
Arnold worshipped than present herself at the elegant mansion on
Fifth Avenue. The family spent the after part of the day in one
of the most secluded nooks they could find in Central Park, and
Mildred often looked back upon those hours as among the brightest
in the shrouded past. Mr. Jocelyn gauged his essential stimulant
so well that he was geniality itself; Belle was more exuberant than
usual; Fred and Minnie rejoiced once more in flowers and trees and
space to run. Mrs. Jocelyn's low, sweet laugh was heard again and
again, for those who made her life were all around her, and they
seemed happier than they had been for many a long, weary day. For
a brief time at least the sun shone brightly through a rift in the
clouds gathering around them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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