She believed her veil had been no protection--that he had seen her
emotion and divined its cause, indeed that nothing could escape
his eyes. She also felt sure that he had come to the city to carry
out the projects which he had vaguely outlined to her, and that
henceforth she could never be sure, when away from home, that his
searching eyes were not upon her. However well-intentioned his
motive might be, to her it would be an odious system of espionage.
There was but one way in which she could resent it--by a cold and
steadily maintained indifference, and she left the church without
any sign of recognition, feeling that her lowered veil should have
taught him that she was shunning observation, and that he had no
right to watch her. She went home not only greatly depressed, but
incensed, for it was the same to her as if she had been intruded
upon at a moment of sacred privacy, and coldly scrutinized while
she was giving way to feelings that she would hide from all the
world. That he could not know this, and that it was no great breach
of delicacy for a young man to sit in the same church with a lady
of his acquaintance, and even to regard her with sympathy, she did
not consider. She was in no mood to do him justice, and circumstances
had imbued her mind with intense prejudice. She was by no means
perfect, nor above yielding to very unjust prejudices when tempted
to them by so unwelcome an interest as that entertained by Roger
Atwood.
"What's the matter, Millie?" her mother asked, following her into
her room where Belle was writing a letter to Clara Bute. Mildred
concluded to tell all, for she feared Roger might soon appear and
occasion awkward explanations, so she said, "I felt, this morning,
like having a glimpse of our old church and life. I suppose it
was very weak and foolish and I was well punished, for toward the
end of the service I was thinking over old times, and it all very
naturally brought some tears. I looked around, and who, of all
others, should be watching me but Roger Atwood!"
Belle sprang up and clapped her hands with a ringing laugh. "That's
capital," she cried. "Didn't I tell you, Millie, you couldn't escape
him? You might just as well give in first as last."
"Belle," said Mildred, in strong irritation, "that kind of talk
is unpardonable. I won't endure it, and if such nonsense is to be
indulged in Roger Atwood cannot come here. I shall at least have
one refuge, and will not be persecuted in my own home."
"Belle," added Mrs. Jocelyn gravely, "since Mildred feels as she
does, you must respect her feelings. It would be indelicate and
unwomanly to do otherwise."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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