"We will forego all these advantages. Good-morning, sir. Did you
ever see such effrontery?" he continued, after Mr. Jocelyn had
departed with a lofty and contemptuous air.
"It's not effrontery--it's opium," said the physician sadly. "You
should see the abject misery of the poor wretch after the effects
of the drug have subsided."
"I have no wish to see him again under any aspect, and heartily
thank you for unmasking him. We must look at once into our affairs,
and see how much mischief he has done. If he wants the aid and
respect of decent men, let him give up his vile practice."
"That's easier said than done," the physician replied. "Very few
ever give it up who have gone as far as this man."
CHAPTER XXVII
A SLAVE
The physician was right. A more abject and pitiable spectacle than
Mr. Jocelyn could scarcely have been found among the miserable
unfortunates of a city noted for its extremes in varied condition.
Even in his false excitement he was dimly aware that he was facing
a dreadful emergency, and following an instinctive desire for
solitude so characteristic of those in his condition, he took a
room in an obscure hotel and gave himself up to thoughts that grew
more and more painful as the unnatural dreams inspired by opium
shaped themselves gradually into accord with the actualities of
his life.
For a month or two past he had been swept almost unresistingly down
the darkening and deepening current of his sin. Whenever he made
some feeble, vacillating effort to reduce his allowance of the
drug, he became so wretched, irritable, and unnatural in manner
that his family were full of perplexed wonder and solicitude. To
hide his weakness from his wife was his supreme desire; and yet,
if he stopped--were this possible--the whole wretched truth would
be revealed. Each day he had been tormented with the feeling that
something must be done, and yet nothing had been done. He had only
sunk deeper and deeper, as with the resistless force of gravitation.
His vague hope, his baseless dream that something would occur
which would make reform easier or the future clearer, had now been
dissipated utterly, and every moment with more terrible distinctness
revealed to him the truth that he had lost his manhood. The vice
was already stamped on his face and manner, so that an experienced
eye could detect it at, once; soon all would see the degrading
brand. He, who had once been the soul of honor and truth, had lied
that day again and again, and the thought pierced him like a sword.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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