The gentle creature was at last goaded into such a burst of
indignation that for a few moments he was appalled, and trembled
before her. The fire in her blue eyes seemed to scorch away her
tears, and standing before him she said passionately, "As you are
a man and a Southern gentleman, tell me the truth. I never concealed a
thought from you; what have you been concealing from us for weeks
and months? I wronged you in that I did not think and plan day and
night how to save instead of how to spend, and I can never forgive
myself, but my fault was not deliberate, not intentional. There was
never a moment when I tried to deceive you--never a moment when I
would not have suffered hunger and cold that you and the children
might be warmed and fed. What is this tonic for which you are
bartering your health, your honor and ours, your children's bread
and blood? Mildred sold her girlhood's gifts, the few dear mementoes
of the old happy days, that you might have the chance you craved.
That money was as sacred as the mercy of God. For weeks the poor
child has earned her bread, not by the sweat of her face, but in
agony of body and unhappiness of heart. If it were disease that
had so cast us down and shadowed our lives with fear, pain, and
poverty, we would have submitted to God's will and watched over
you with a patient tenderness that would never have faltered or
murmured; but it's not disease, it's not something that God sent.
It is that which crimsons our faces with shame."
He sat cowering and trembling before her, with his face buried in
his hands.
In a sudden revulsion of tenderness she sank again on her knees
before him, and pleaded in tones of tenderest pathos: "Martin, I
know all; but I am ready to forgive all if you will be true from
this time forward. I know now the cause of all your strange moods
which we attributed to ill-health; I know the worst; but if, in
humble reliance upon God, you will win back your manhood, the past
evil days shall be blotted out, even as God blots out our sins
and remembers them no more against us. We will sustain your every
effort with sympathy and loving faith. We will smile at cold and
hunger that you may have time--Great God!" and she sprang to her
feet, white, faint, and panting.
Her husband had taken his hands from his face, and glared at her
like a famished wolf. In his desperate, unnatural visage there was
not a trace of manhood left.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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