All this added to Stratton's depression, and the sense of coming
trouble. It was impossible to pass it over as imaginary, face to face
as he was with the terrible difficulties before him; for in that tiny
place, unless Barron was hurried away, a meeting was imminent, and it
was his doing--his.
Guest laughed at the idea of his presence there being due to fate, he
recalled; but how else could he think of the strange complication but as
being wrought out by a greater directing hand? "And for what?" he
muttered. Could it be only to inflict fresh torture upon a gentle,
loving woman?
The mental outlook was as black and misty as that across the sands to
the moaning, sighing sea; and as Stratton sat there, with the damp, soft
air cooling his brow, he longed for rest, and thought of the peace and
gentle calm that he might find if he could take a boat and sail right
away into the soft, black darkness.
He shook his head mournfully, though, for he knew that he could not sail
away from his thoughts, and that it would be the act of a coward to try
and escape from the sufferings which fell to his lot.
To sleep was impossible. He did not even think of lying down, but sat
there waiting for the first streaks of day with the face of Myra always
before him, her eyes looking gravely into his with a sweet, trustful
tenderness, which made him recall her visit to his chambers that night
when she knelt before him with her arms outstretched to take him to her
breast, and he asked himself why he had shrunk from her--why he had not
crushed down conscience, and the horror of his having slain her husband,
and taken her away--anywhere so that they two could have been together
far from the world and its ways.
For his dread had been his own making. It was not real. The shot was
an accident, not even dealt by his own hand, and the man had lived.
Myra would have been his, and they might have been happy.
Was it too late, even now? If he could only reach her ear and tell her
how all stood. She loved him--he knew that. Once with Myra meant till
death, and she would follow him to the world's end.
"And I sit here," he cried, and started from his seat, "when she is
there yonder waiting for me. A word would rouse her from her sleep, if
she does sleep. She may be sitting at her window even now, wakeful and
wretched as I, and ready to trust me, to let me lead her far away from
all this misery and despair. Heaven never could mean us to suffer as we
do. It is a natural prompting. She must be waiting for me now."
The moments of exaltation passed, and he sank down again to bury his
face in his hands, knowing that it was all the madness of a despairing
man.
No; he could do nothing but that which he and Brettison had planned--
nothing but wait for the morning, which was yet hours away.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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