"No; I've no notion at all ag'inst a gospel spreader. When Short
Creek Dave gets religion over in Tucson, an' descends on us as a
exhorter, although I only knows Short Creek thartofore as the
coldest poker sharp that ever catches a gent Muffin' on a 4-flush, I
hesitates not, but encourages an' caps his game. But I can't say
that the sight of a preacher-gent affords me peace. A preacher frets
me; not for himse'f exactly, but you never sees preachers without
seein' p'lice folks--preachers an' p'lice go hand in hand, like
prairie dogs an' rattlesnakes--an' born as I be in Tennessee, where
we has our feuds an' where law is a interference an' never a
protection, I'm nacherally loathin' constables complete.
"But if I ain't religious," he rambled on while he puffed at his
Bull Durham vigorously. "you can resk a small stack that neither I
ain't sooperstitious. Take Boggs an' Cherokee, you-all recalls how
long ago I tells you how sooperstitious them two is. Speakin' of
Boggs, who's as good a gent an' as troo a friend as ever touches
your glass; he's sooperstitious from his wrought-steel spurs to his
bullion hatband. Boggs has more signs an' omens than some folks has
money; everything is a tip or a hunch to Boggs; an' he lives
surrounded by inflooences.
"Thar's a peaked old sport named Ryder pervades Wolfville for a
while. He's surly an' gnurlly an' omeny, Ryder is; an' has one of
them awful lookin' faces where the feachers is all c'llected in the
middle of his visage, an' bunched up like they's afraid of Injuns or
somethin' else that threatenin' an' hostile--them sort of
countenances you notes carved on the far ends of fiddles. We-all is
averse to Ryder. An' this yere Ryder himsc'f is that contentious an'
contradictory he won't agree to nothin'. Jest to show you about
Ryder: I has in mind once when a passel of us is lookin' at a paper
that's come floatin' in from the States. Thar's the picture of a
cow-puncher into it who's a dead ringer for Dave Tutt. From y'ears
to hocks that picture is Tutt; an' thar we-all be admirin' the
likeness an' takin' our licker conjunctive. While thus spec'latin'
on then resemblances, this yere sour old maverick, Ryder, shows up
at the bar for nourishment.
"'Don't tell Ryder about how this yere deelineation looks like
Tutt,' Says Doc Peets; 'I'll saw it off on him raw for his views,
and ask him whatever does he think himse'f.
"'See yere, Ryder,' says Peets, shovin' the paper onder the old
t'rant'ler's nose as he sets down his glass, 'whoever does this
picture put you in mind of? Does it look like any sport you knows?'
"'No,' says Ryder, takin' the paper an' puttin' on his specks, an'
at the same time as thankless after his nose-paint as if he'd been
refoosed the beverage; 'no, it don't put me in mind of nothin' nor
nobody. One thing shore, an' you-all hold-ups can rope onto that for
a fact, it don't remind me none of Dave Tutt.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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