United States -- Social life and customs -- To 1775; Women -- United States -- History; Women -- United States -- Social conditions
Serious as was the matter of the mere courtship, the fact that the dowry
or marriage portion had to be considered made the act of marriage even
more serious. The devout elders, who taught devotion to heavenly things
and scorn of the things of this world, nevertheless haggled and wrangled
long and stubbornly over a few pounds more or less. Judge Sewall seems
to have prided himself on the friendly spirit and expediteness with
which he settled such a matter. "Oct. 13, 1729. Judge Davenport comes to
me between 10 and 11 a-clock in the morning and speaks to me on behalf
of Mr. Addington Davenport, his eldest Son, that he might have Liberty
to Wait upon Jane Hirst now at my House in way of Courtship. He told me
he would deal by him as his eldest Son, and more than so. Inten'd to
build a House where his uncle Addington dwelt, for him; and that he
should have his Pue in the Old Meeting-house.... He said Madam Addington
Would wait upon me."[235]
Not only was provision thus made for the future financial condition of
the wedded, but also the possibility of the death of either party after
the day of marriage was kept in mind, and a sum to be paid in such an
emergency agreed upon. For example, Sewall records after the death of
his daughter Mary: "Tuesday, Febr. 19, 1711-2.... Dine with Mr. Gerrish,
son Gerrish [Mary's Husband], Mrs. Anne. Discourse with the Father
about my Daughter Mary's Portion. I stood for making £550 doe; because
now twas in six parts, the Land was not worth so much. He urg'd for
£600, at last would split the £50. Finally, Febr. 20, I agreed to charge
the House-Rent, and Differences of Money, and make it up £600."[236]
_II. Judge Sewall's Courtships_
The Judge's own accounts of his many courtships and three marriages give
us rather surprising glimpses of the spirit and independence of colonial
women, who, as pictured in the average book on American history, are
generally considered weak, meek, and yielding. His wooing of Madam
Winthrop, for instance, was long and arduous and ended in failure. She
would not agree to his proffered marriage settlement; she demanded that
he keep a coach, which he could not afford; she even declared that his
wearing of a wig was a prerequisite if he obtained her for a wife. Mrs.
Winthrop had been through marriage before, and she evidently knew how to
test the man before accepting. Not at all a clinging vine type of woman,
she well knew how to take care of herself, and her manner, therefore, of
accepting his attentions is indeed significant. Under date of October 23
we find in his _Diary_ this brief note: "My dear wife is inter'd"; and
on February 26, he writes: "This morning wondering in my mind whether to
live a single or a married life."[237]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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