Women of History: Selected from the Writings of Standard AuthorsVarious
History
Women of History: Selected from the Writings of Standard Authors
Various
Women -- Biography
It was now [1853] two or three years since I had witnessed a similar
effect produced on her, in anticipation of a quiet evening at a friend's
home; and since then she had seen many and various people in London; but
the physical sensations produced by shyness were still the same, and on
the following day she laboured under severe headache. I had several
opportunities of perceiving how this nervousness was ingrained in her
constitution, and how acutely she suffered in trying to overcome it. One
evening we had, among other guests, two sisters who sung Scotch ballads
exquisitely. Miss Bronte had been sitting quiet and constrained, till
they began "The Bonnie House of Airlie;" but the effect of that, and
"Carlyle Yetts" which followed, was as irresistible as the playing of
the piper of Hamelin. The beautiful clear light came into her eyes; her
lips quivered with emotion; she forgot herself, rose and crossed the
room to the piano, where she asked eagerly for song after song. The
sisters begged her to come and see them next morning, when they would
sing as long as ever she liked, and she promised gladly and thankfully.
But on reaching the house her courage failed. We walked some time up and
down the street, she upbraiding herself all the while for her folly, and
trying to dwell on the sweet echoes in her memory, rather than on the
thought of a third sister who would have to be faced if we went in. But
it was of no use; and dreading lest this struggle with herself might
bring on one of her trying headaches, I entered at last, and made the
best apology I could for her non-appearance.
Much of this nervous dread of encountering strangers I ascribed to the
idea of her personal ugliness, which had been strongly impressed upon
her imagination early in life, and which she exaggerated to herself in a
remarkable manner. "I notice," said she, "that after a stranger has once
looked at my face, he is careful not to let his eyes wander to that part
of the room again." A more untrue idea never entered into any one's
head. Two gentlemen who saw her during this visit, without knowing at
the time who she was, were singularly attracted by her appearance; and
this feeling of attraction towards a pleasant countenance, sweet voice,
and gentle, timid manners, was so strong in one as to conquer a dislike
he had previously entertained to her works.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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