Yet it must not be supposed that she meditated definitely upon any
special line of action. She formulated no plan of self-destruction. For
some strange reason, it was much less the bodily terror of the idea
that rose up awful and threatening before her, than its spiritual and
moral counterpart.
Had Lacrima been compelled, like poor Sonia in the Russian novel, to
become a harlot for the sake of those she loved, it would have been the
mental rather than the physical outrage that would have weighed upon
her.
She was of that curious human type which separates the body from
the soul, in all these things. She had always approached life
rather through her mind than through her senses, and it was in the
imagination that she found both her catastrophes and recoveries. In
this particular case, the obsessing image of death had for the moment
quite obliterated the more purely realistic aspect of what she was
contemplating. Her feeling may perhaps be best described by saying that
whenever she imaged the farmer’s possession of her, it was always as
if what he possessed was no more than a dead inert corpse, about whose
fate none, least of all herself, could have any further care.
She had just counted the strokes of the church clock striking four,
when she heard Gladys’ steps in the adjoining room. She hurriedly
concealed the little purple-covered volume, and lay back once more
upon her pillows. She fervently prayed in her heart that Gladys might
be ignorant of what had occurred, but her knowledge of the relations
between father and daughter made this a very forlorn hope.
Such as it was, it was entirely dispelled as soon as the fair-haired
creature glided in and sat down at the foot of her bed.
Gladys looked at her cousin with intent and luxurious interest; her
expression being very much what one might suppose the countenance of a
young pagan priestess to have worn, as she gazed, dreamily and sweetly,
in a pause of the sacrificial procession, at some doomed heifer “lowing
at the skies, and all her silken flanks with garlands dressed.”
“So I hear that you are going to be married,” she began at once,
speaking in a slow, liquid voice, and toying indolently with her
friend’s shoe-strings.
“Please--please don’t talk about it,” murmured the Italian. “Nothing
is settled yet. I would so much rather not think of it now.”
“But, how silly!” cried the other, with a melodious little laugh. “Of
course we must talk about it. It is so extremely exciting! I shall
be seeing uncle John today and I must congratulate him. I am sure he
doesn’t half know how lucky he is.”
Lacrima jumped up from where she lay and stepping to the window looked
out over the sunlit park.
Gladys rose too, and standing behind her cousin, put her arms round her
waist.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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