As she drew nearer to where Mr. Quincunx lived, her burdened mind
sought relief in focussing itself upon him. She would be sure to find
him in his garden. That she knew, because the day was Saturday. Should
she tell him what had happened to her?
Ah! that was indeed the crucial question! Was it necessary that she
should sacrifice herself for him without his even knowing what she did?
But he would have to know, sooner or later, of this marriage. Everyone
would be talking of it. It would be bound to come to his ears.
And what would he think of her if she said nothing? What would he think
of her, in any case, having accepted such a degradation?
Not to tell him at all, would throw a completely false light upon
the whole transaction. It would make her appear treacherous, fickle,
worldly-minded, shameless--wickedly false to her unwritten covenant
with himself.
To tell him, without giving him the true motive of her sacrifice, would
be, she felt sure, to bring down his bitterest reproaches on her head.
For a passing second she felt a wave of indignation against him surge
up in her heart. This, however, she passionately suppressed, with the
instinctive desire of a woman who is sacrificing herself to feel the
object of such sacrifice worthy of what is offered.
It was not long before she reached the gate of Mr. Quincunx’s garden.
Yes,--there he was--with his wheel-barrow and his hoe--bending over his
potatoes. She opened the gate and walked quite close up to him before
he observed her. He greeted her in his usual manner, with a smile of
half-cynical, half-affectionate welcome, and taking her by the hand as
he might have taken a child, he led her to the one shady spot in his
garden, where, under a weeping ash, he had constructed a rough bench.
“I didn’t expect you,” he said, when they were seated. “I never do
expect you. People like me who have only Saturday afternoons to enjoy
themselves in don’t expect visitors. They count the hours which are
left to them before the night comes.”
“But you have Sunday, my friend,” she said, laying her hand upon his.
“Sunday!” Mr. Quincunx muttered. “Do you call Sunday a day? I regard
Sunday as a sort of prison-exercise, when all the convicts go walking
up and down and showing off their best clothes. I can neither work nor
read nor think on Sunday. I have to put on my best clothes like the
rest, and stand at my gate, staring at the weather and wondering what
the hay-crop will be. The only interesting moments I have on Sunday are
when that silly-faced Wone, or one of the Andersens, drifts this way,
and we lean over my wall and abuse the gentry.”
“Poor dear!” said the girl pityingly. “I expect the real truth is that
you are so tired with your work all the week, that you are glad enough
to rest and do nothing.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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