How fortunate, how incredibly fortunate, that he should, in weather
like this, and in so abounding a mood of creative energy, be completely
his own master, except for the need of propitiating two naive and
amusing women! He entertained himself by the thought of how little they
really knew him,--these friendly Romers--how little they sounded his
real purposes, his essential feelings! To them no doubt, he was no more
than he was to these excellent villagers,--a tall, fair, slouching,
bony figure, with a face,--if they went as far as his face,--massively
heavy and irregular, with dreamy humorous eyes and a mouth addicted to
nervous twitching.
A clump of dandelions, obtruding their golden indifference to human
drama, into the dust of the road at his feet, mixed oddly, at that
moment, in these obscure workings of his brain, with a sort of savage
caress of self-complacent congratulation which he suddenly bestowed
on his interior self; as, beneath his pleasant chatter with his
rural companions, he thought how imperturbable, how ferocious, his
secret egoism was, and how well he concealed it under his indolent
good-nature! He had passed now the entrance to the vicarage garden, and
in the adjoining field he observed with a curious thrill of psychic
sympathy the tenacious grip with which a viciously-knotted ash-tree
held to the earth with its sturdy roots. Out-walked at last by all
the other returned travellers, Dangelis glanced without pausing down
the long Italianated avenue, at the end of which shone red, in the
afternoon sun, the mullioned windows of the great house. He preferred
to prolong his stroll, by taking the circuitous way, round by the
village. He knew the expression of that famous west front too well now,
to linger in admiration over its picturesque repose in the afternoon
sunshine. As a matter of fact a slight chill of curious antipathy
crossed his consciousness as he quickened his steps.
Happily situated though he was, in his pleasant lodging beneath that
capacious roof, the famous edifice itself had not altogether won his
affection. The thing suggested to his wayward and prairie-nurtured
soul, a stately product rather of convention than of life. He felt
oddly conscious of it as something symbolic of what would be always
intrinsically opposed to him, of what would willingly, if it were able,
suppress him and render him helpless.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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