The poor priest’s heart beat tumultuously. He began to lose all
consciousness of everything except his propinquity to his provoker.
He was aware with appalling distinctness of the precise texture of
the light frock that she wore. It was of a soft fawn colour, crossed
by wavy lines of a darker tint. He watched the way these wavy lines
followed the curves of her figure. They began at her side, and ended
where her skirt hung loose over her little swinging ankles. He
wished these lines had sloped upwards, instead of downwards; then it
would have been so much easier for him to follow the argument of the
“Development of Christian Doctrine.”
Still that scent of burning weeds! Why must his neighbours set fire to
their rubbish, on this particular afternoon?
With a fierce mental effort he tried to suppress the thought that
those voluptuous lips only waited for him to overcome his ridiculous
scruples. Why must she wait like this so pitilessly passive, laying all
the burden of the struggle upon him? If she would only make a little--a
very little--movement, his conscience would be able to recover its
equilibrium, whatever happened. He tried to unmagnetize her attraction,
by visualizing the fact that under this desirable form--so near his
touch--lurked nothing but that bleak, bare, last outline of mortality,
to which all flesh must come. He tried to see her forehead, her closed
eyes, her parted lips, as they would look if resting in a coffin. Like
his monkish predecessors in the world-old struggle against Satan, he
sought to save himself by clutching fast to the grinning skull.
All this while his lips went on repeating their liturgical formula.
“We must learn to look upon the Redemption, as a natural, not a
supernatural fact. We must learn to see in it the motive-force of the
whole stream of evolution. We must remember that things _are_ what
they have it in them to _become_. It is the purpose, the end, which is
the true truth--not the process or the method. Christ is the end of
all things. He is therefore the beginning of all things. All things
find their meaning, their place, their explanation, only in relation
to Him. He is the reality of the illusion which we call Nature, and
of the illusion which we call Life. In Him the universe becomes real
and living--which else were a mere engine of destruction.” How much
longer he would have continued in this strain--conquered yet still
resisting--it were impossible to say. All these noble words, into the
rhythm of which so much passionate modern thought had been poured, fell
from his lips like sand out of a sieve.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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