Bildungsromans; Feminist fiction; Women -- Employment -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
“Dear child, don’t tell me any more; it is too sad. Talk of yourself
and Harry. Now you smile, so I’m sure all is well with him.”
“Yes, thank heaven! Christie, I do believe fate means to spare us as
dear old Dr. Shirley said. I never can be gay again, but I keep as
cheerful and busy as I can, for Harry’s sake, and he does the same for
mine. We shall always be together, and all in all to one another, for
we can never marry and have homes apart you know. We have wandered over
the face of the earth for several years, and now we mean to settle down
and be as happy and as useful as we can.”
“That’s brave! I am so glad to hear it, and so truly thankful it is
possible. But tell me, Bella, what Harry means to do? You spoke in one
of your first letters of his being hard at work studying medicine. Is
that to be his profession?”
“Yes; I don’t know what made him choose it, unless it was the hope that
he might spare other families from a curse like ours, or lighten it if
it came. After Helen’s death he was a changed creature; no longer a
wild boy, but a man. I told him what you said to me, and it gave him
hope. Dr. Shirley confirmed it as far as he dared; and Hal resolved to
make the most of his one chance by interesting himself in some
absorbing study, and leaving no room for fear, no time for dangerous
recollections. I was so glad, and mother so comforted, for we both
feared that sad trouble would destroy him. He studied hard, got on
splendidly, and then went abroad to finish off. I went with him; for
poor August was past hope, and mamma would not let me help her. The
doctor said it was best for me to be away, and excellent for Hal to
have me with him, to cheer him up, and keep him steady with a little
responsibility. We have been happy together in spite of our trouble, he
in his profession, and I in him; now he is ready, so we have come home,
and now the hardest part begins for me.”
“How, Bella?”
“He has his work and loves it: I have nothing after my duty to him is
done. I find I’ve lost my taste for the old pleasures and pursuits, and
though I have tried more sober, solid ones, there still remains much
time to hang heavy on my hands, and such an empty place in my heart,
that even Harry’s love cannot fill it. I’m afraid I shall get
melancholy,—that is the beginning of the end for us, you know.”
As Bella spoke the light died out of her eyes, and they grew despairing
with the gloom of a tragic memory. Christie drew the beautiful,
pathetic face clown upon her bosom, longing to comfort, yet feeling
very powerless to lighten Bella’s burden.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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