Bildungsromans; Feminist fiction; Women -- Employment -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
A flight of steps close by led to a lumber wharf, and, scarcely knowing
why, she went down there, with a vague desire to sit still somewhere,
and think her way out of the mist that seemed to obscure her mind. A
single tall lamp shone at the farther end of the platform, and
presently she found herself leaning her hot forehead against the iron
pillar, while she watched with curious interest the black water rolling
sluggishly below.
She knew it was no place for her, yet no one waited for her, no one
would care if she staid for ever, and, yielding to the perilous
fascination that drew her there, she lingered with a heavy throbbing in
her temples, and a troop of wild fancies whirling through her brain.
Something white swept by below,—only a broken oar—but she began to
wonder how a human body would look floating through the night. It was
an awesome fancy, but it took possession of her, and, as it grew, her
eyes dilated, her breath came fast, and her lips fell apart, for she
seemed to see the phantom she had conjured up, and it wore the likeness
of herself.
With an ominous chill creeping through her blood, and a growing tumult
in her mind, she thought, “I must go,” but still stood motionless,
leaning over the wide gulf, eager to see where that dead thing would
pass away. So plainly did she see it, so peaceful was the white face,
so full of rest the folded hands, so strangely like, and yet unlike,
herself, that she seemed to lose her identity, and wondered which was
the real and which the imaginary Christie. Lower and lower she bent;
looser and looser grew her hold upon the pillar; faster and faster beat
the pulses in her temples, and the rush of some blind impulse was
swiftly coming on, when a hand seized and caught her back.
For an instant every thing grew black before her eyes, and the earth
seemed to slip away from underneath her feet. Then she was herself
again, and found that she was sitting on a pile of lumber, with her
head uncovered, and a woman’s arm about her.
[Illustration: THE RESCUE.]
“Was I going to drown myself?” she asked, slowly, with a fancy that she
had been dreaming frightfully, and some one had wakened her.
“You were most gone; but I came in time, thank God! O Christie! don’t
you know me?”
Ah! no fear of that; for with one bewildered look, one glad cry of
recognition, Christie found her friend again, and was gathered close to
Rachel’s heart.
“My dear, my dear, what drove you to it? Tell me all, and let me help
you in your trouble, as you helped me in mine,” she said, as she
tenderly laid the poor, white face upon her breast, and wrapped her
shawl about the trembling figure clinging to her with such passionate
delight.
“I have been ill; I worked too hard; I’m not myself to-night. I owe
money. People disappoint and worry me; and I was so worn out, and weak,
and wicked, I think I meant to take my life.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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