He was thinking of this, and had in his mind a picture, confused
indeed, but full of small details which had a strange interest for
him, and a vivid sadness too, of the contrast between the scene of
which he formed at this moment a part, and those familiar to himself
and to Marian. He was thinking of the homely simple life of the
village, of the dear dead friend, so much a better man, so much a
truer gentleman than any of these people, who were of so much
importance in a world where he had been of so little; of the old
house, the familiar routine of life, not wearisome with all its
sameness, the sweetness of his first love. He was thinking of the
splendour, the enervating bewildering luxury of his present
surroundings, among which he sat so strange, so solitary, save for the
subtle reassuring influence, the strange, unaccountable support and
something like companionship in the tones of that fair and gracious
lady's voice, in the light of her swift flitting smile, in which he
thought he read an admission that the company was little more to her
taste than to his, had as little in common with her intellectual
calibre as with his. He could not have told how she conveyed this
impression to him, if he had tried to explain his feelings to any
third person; he could not explain it to himself, when he thought over
the events of the evening, alone in his room, which was a dingy
apartment when compared with the rest of the house, but far better
than any which had ever called him master; but there it was, strong
and strangely attractive, mingling with the sights and sounds around
him, and with the dull dead pain at his heart which had been caused by
Marian's letter, and which he had never quite succeeded in conquering.
There were unshed but not unseen tears in his eyes, and a slight
tremulous motion in his lips, which one pair of eyes at the table,
quick with all their languor, keen with all their disdainful slowness,
did not fail to see. The owner of those beautiful eyes did not quite
understand, could not "fathom" the meaning of the sudden glitter in
his--"idle tears," indeed, on such an occasion, and in such
company!--but, with the fine unfailing instinct of a coquette, she
discerned, more clearly than Walter Joyce himself had felt it, that
she counted for something in the origin and meaning of those unshed
tears and of that nervous twitching.
Lady Caroline had just removed her eyes with well-feigned carelessness
from Walter's face, after a covert glance, apparently casual, but in
reality searching, in order to effect which she had leaned forward and
plucked some geranium-leaves from a bouquet near her on the table; and
Walter was removing himself still farther from the scene around, into
the land of reverie, when a name spoken by Mr. Gould, and making an
odd accidental harmony with his thoughts, fixed his wandering
attention.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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