"Now, what we have to think of is definite and pressing. I must give a
decisive answer within a week, and you will see the bearing and
importance of that decisive answer on our future. I believe I could
stay on here for any time I chose. The big history-book, though I work
hard at it every day, is as yet only in its commencement, and I am
told that when the family goes to town next week I am to accompany
them, and to devote my time in London to purely secretarial work,
correcting my lord in his speeches, writing his letters, etc., while
the history of the Wests is to remain in abeyance until the autumn.
Everybody is particularly kind to me, and had I never 'lifted my eyes
to my master's daughter,' like the 'prentice of old, I might have been
very happy here. But I have other hopes in view, and a married private
secretary would be impossible. It's lucky, then, that there is another
opening--yes, Marian, a new chance, which, I think, promises,
splendidly promises, to realise all we have hoped--all I have hoped
for, all you can have justly anticipated--speedy union for us both,
under decent competence when united. Listen.
"My old friend Byrne, of whom you heard so much when I was in London,
wrote to me some time since, telling me that my name had been
suggested as the correspondent then required for a London newspaper in
Berlin. I thought but little of it at the moment, for though, thanks
to old Dr. Breitmann, in the dear old days at Helmingham, I knew
myself to be a tolerable German scholar, I doubted whether I had
sufficient 'nous' and experience of the world for the post. I wrote
this to Byrne, and I think he was rather of my opinion; but the man
with whom the recommendation rested, and who knew me from having met
me constantly during those weeks I was living with Byrne, and knew
also some of my qualifications, as it was through him I obtained those
odd jobs on the press, declared that I would be the very man for their
purpose, and has so pressed the matter that I have agreed to let them
have their answer with my decision in a week's time. For that decision
I come to you. They offer me a year's engagement to start with, with
the certainty of renewal if I fulfil their expectations, and four
hundred a year, with the prospect of a rise. Four hundred a year,
Marian, and in a country where money goes much further than in
England! Four hundred a year, and we united for ever, and dear Mrs.
Ashurst for, of course, she will be with us--with a son as well as a
daughter to tend and care for her! Now you see why I made the
commencement of my letter rather sombre and gloomy, in order to
heighten the brilliancy of the finish. Now you see why I talked about
the lodgings and the privations--because there is no need to submit to
any of them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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