understand how the only real hopes and fears of his life, those with
which Marian was connected, had fallen into a kind of quiescent state,
which he had borne with and accepted. He could not understand that
now, when the hopes had been aroused and sent springing within him,
and the fears had been banished, at least for a while. For a
while?--for ever! The mere existence of any fear was an injustice to
Marian. She had been true and steadfast, and good and loving. She had
proved it nobly enough. The one weakness which formed part of her
character, an inability to contend with poverty--a venial failing
enough, Walter Joyce thought, especially in a girl who must have
known, more particularly in one notable instance, the sad results of
the want of means--would never now be tried. There would be no need
for her to struggle, no necessity for pinching and screwing.
Accustomed since his childhood to live on the poorest pittance,
Joyce looked at the salary now offered to him as real wealth,
position-giving, and commanding all comforts, if not luxuries. The
thought of this, and the knowledge that she would be able to take her
mother with her to share her new home, would give Marian the greatest
pleasure. He pictured her in that new home, bright, sunny, and
cheerful; the look of care and anxiety, the two deep brow-lines which
her face had worn during the last year of their residence at
Helmingham quite obliterated; the old, cheerful, ringing tone restored
to her voice, and the earnest, steadfast, loving gaze in her quiet
eyes; and the thought almost unmanned him. He pulled out his
watch-chain, took from it the locket containing Marian's portrait (but
a very poor specimen of photography, taken by an "arteeste" who had
visited Helmingham in a green van on wheels, and who both orally and
in his printed bills laid immense stress on the fact that not merely
the portrait, but a frame and hook to hang it up by, were in certain
cases "given in"), and kissed it tenderly. "In a very little time now,
my darling!" he murmured--"in a very little time we shall be happy."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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