Marian Ashurst had begun, soon after their parting, to feel that she
had been somewhat too sanguine in her anticipations of the immediate
success of Walter Joyce. Each little difficulty she had had to
encounter in her own life until the old home was left behind had aided
to depress her, to force her to understand that the battle of life was
harder to fight than she had fancied it, and had brought to her mind a
shapeless fear that she had mistaken, overvalued, the strength and
efficacy of the weapons with which she must fight that battle.
Walter's letters had not tended to lift her heart up from its
depression. His nature was essentially candid; he had neither the
skill nor the inclination to feign, and he had kept her exactly
informed. On his return home after his interview with Lord and Lady
Hetherington, Joyce found a letter awaiting him. It was from Marian,
written to her lover from Mr. Creswell's house, and ran as follows:
"Woolgreaves, Wednesday.
"MY DEAREST WALTER,
"The project I told you of, in my last letter, has been carried out;
mamma and I are settled for the present at Woolgreaves. How strange it
seems! Everything has been done so suddenly when it came to the point,
and Mr. Creswell and his nieces turned out so differently from what I
expected. I did not look for their taking any notice of us, except in
the commonplace way of people in their position to people in ours. I
always had a notion that 'womankind' have but a small share in men's
friendships. However, these people seem determined to make me out in
the wrong, and though I do not give the young ladies credit for more
than intelligent docility, making them understand that their best
policy is to carry out their uncle's kind intentions--that they have
more to gain by obedience in this respect than to lose by anything
likely to be alienated from them in our direction--I must acknowledge
that their docility is intelligent. They made the invitation most
graciously, urged it most heartily, and are carrying out all it
implied fully. You will have been surprised at mamma's finding the
idea of being in any one's house endurable, under the circumstances,
but she really likes it. Maude and Gertrude Creswell, who are the very
opposites of me in everything, belong to the 'sweet-girl' species, and
mamma has found out that she likes sweet girls. Poor mamma, she never
had the chance of making the discovery before! I do believe it never
occurred to her that her own daughter was not a 'sweet girl,' until
she made the conquest of the hearts of these specimens. The truth is,
also, that mamma feels, she _must_ feel, every one must feel the
material comfort of living as we are living here, in comparison with
the makeshift wretchedness of the lodging into which we shall have to
go, when our visit here comes to a conclusion, and still more, as a
_thoroughly known and felt_ standard of comparison, with the intense
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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