Howells, William Dean, 1837-1920 -- Childhood and youth
dusted, and that this did not matter to the quiet, scholarly man whose
life was so wholly in his work that he did not care how he lived.
He was buoyed up, above all other things, by the interest of journalism,
which for those once abandoned to it is indeed a kind of enchantment. As
I knew it then and afterward, it has always had far more of my honor
and respect than those ignorant of it know how to render. One incident
of it at this time so especially moved me that I will give it place in
this wayward tale, though it is probably not more to the credit of the
press than unnumbered others which others could cite. A miserable man
came late one night to ask that a certain report which involved his good
name, and with it the good name of a miserable woman, and the peace of
their families, might be withheld. He came with legal counsel, and
together they threshed the matter out with our editorial force upon the
point whether we ought or ought not to spare him, our contention being
that as a prominent citizen he was even less to be spared than a more
unimportant person. Our professional conscience was apparently in that
scruple; how it was overcome I do not remember, but at last we promised
mercy and the report was suppressed.
It was one of the ironies of life that after the only suspected avenue
to publicity had been successfully guarded, the whole fact should have
cruelly come out in another paper the next morning. But I cannot feel
even yet that the beauty of our merciful decision was marred by this
mockery of fate, or that the cause of virtue was served by it, and I
think that if I had been wiser than I was then I would have remained in
the employ offered me, and learned in the school of reality the many
lessons of human nature which it could have taught me. I did not remain,
and perhaps I could not; it might have been the necessity of my morbid
nerves to save themselves from abhorrent contacts; in any case, I
renounced the opportunity offered me by that university of the streets
and police-stations, with its faculty of patrolmen and ward politicians
and saloon-keepers. The newspaper office was not the Capitol of Ohio; I
was not by the fondest imputation a part of the state government, and I
felt the difference keenly. I was always very homesick; I knew nobody
in the city, and I had no companionship except that of my constant
friend, whom I saw only in our hours of work. I had not even the poor
social refuge of a boarding-house; I ate alone at a restaurant, where I
used sadly to amuse myself with the waiters' versions of the orders
which they called down a tube into the kitchen below. The one which
cheered me most was that of a customer who always ordered a double
portion of corn-cakes and was translated as requiring "Indians, six on a
plate."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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