and then to a mountain stream, and of his weariness Theresa would reap
the fruits. He took a deep breath, for he saw the steady hills which
were his friends, and felt their wind on his cheeks. Life cleared itself
again; somewhere, unexplained but sure, there was a law of order. He
bowed his head and went on his humble way. Taught by the beauty of the
world and his own need, he was submissive to the unknown and had faith
in it. There was a meaning in life: he could not read the meaning, but
the belief was a renewed inspiration, and he was content; for who was he
to know God's purposes?
* * * * *
Blown by each wind and rejoicing in the merry whirl, Theresa passed her
days; they were all adventurous, of mind if not of body, and her nights
were wonders. There was no one in the world whom she could envy; she
felt sorry for every girl who was not Theresa Webb. Who else could be so
certain of a glorious future? Who else turned the corner of every street
with a just expectation of joy? There was no one else, and, since she
could find her thrilled happiness within herself, she seldom missed it.
Sometimes she played at being a princess, with evidence of blood in the
lift of her head; sometimes she was a little genius, early bowed; and
now and then she was just a schoolgirl, but so beautiful and compelling
that people turned to look at her, and were dazzled by her radiant hair.
While she lived she must find enjoyment, if it were but in being
miserable; for while she lived, so must Theresa, that paragon, that
puzzle of which she never tired. But this adoration was a secret,
guessed at home, perhaps, but unimagined at school. She was very quiet,
very good, and so observant that her work suffered. She seemed
attentive, but under the eager solemnity of her face there was a dancing
spirit that betrayed itself, to the quick, in the restless movements of
her hands. How could she care about arithmetical problems when the woman
who proposed them looked as though she had not slept? The reason for
that wakefulness must be discovered--a more attractive hunting than
seeking for the answer, which might be anything, to a question about
apples and potatoes at fluctuating prices. Her reports both delighted
and alarmed her father.
"Theresa," he said seriously, "I see some of your subjects are very
unsatisfactory."
"Yes, they are, aren't they?" She was interested, and looked with him at
the paper he held.
"You are only top in English, Theresa, and you are bottom in a great
many things. Scripture, I see among them, and arithmetic."
"Yes, but they don't matter much, do you think?"
"It all matters, my child."
"Does it? You know"--she moved to the window and came back to his
knee--"I can't understand why those girls get more marks than I do.
They're really very stupid when you talk to them."
"Perhaps they work."
"Oh yes, I think they do. But I'd rather be clever. They just learn
things. I can't learn things for seeing them."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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