The thin figure of trouble might walk with Alexander and lie beside him
when he slept, but it could not rob him of content. Roused in the night
by the opening of a door and stealthy feet on the stairs, he would pull
on his clothes and follow his father into the darkness, and hardly
regret his bed when the freshness of falling rain met his cheek, or the
night smell of flowers assailed him; or, when he waited in the kitchen
while the coals slipped in the fireplace and lost their red, and he
strained his ears for a voice or a footstep, they were comforted by the
singing of the larches. At those times, when he could not read, he made
a comrade of Theresa, who looked down from the mantelpiece. A new
picture of her stood there, with her hair upturned, and a smile that had
no tiresome permanence: it came and went, he thought, according to her
mood or his, and always the eyes looked at him with friendship. He would
nod to her as he filled his pipe, and be glad of her companionship. He
spoke to her sometimes, but his thoughts never went to Radstowe and made
her solid. That would have been to spoil his vague conception of a girl
who gave all he wanted and asked for nothing, who was there when he
desired her and absent when he chose, who was no more and no less real
than he would have her be; and when Edward Webb wrote of his Theresa, it
was of another than this pictured girl that Alexander thought: it was of
the spoiled child of a fond father, fixed by him in a false pose of
genius, and unrelated to the sexless being who looked and smiled at him
on lonely nights, and was as fine, and free, and formless as the wind.
Alexander walked far that day, and came back with the stars. His steps
were loud on the stony path, and through the soft and palpable darkness
he heard the stirring of the creatures in the henhouse and the dog's
welcoming bark.
There was peace in the kitchen. His father and mother sat close together
before the small wood fire, and the lamp, lighting the book from which
he read to her, strengthened the colour of her hair. The murmuring voice
stopped as Alexander entered, and the book was closed. He felt
intrusive, out of season, like one who has come upon lovers unawares.
"There's a letter for you," said Clara, and rose to put food on the
table. "Is it from Edward Webb?"
"Yes."
It was not the usual bulky package: the envelope held no verse for
Alexander's criticism, but a thin sheet of paper, hardly covered. He
read the letter, walked into the yard, and back again.
"His wife's dead," he said.
"Oh, Alexander! Oh, poor soul!" Clara stood in the middle of the room,
seeing the desolation of that man without a mate. "What will he do?" She
set the plates down gently. "There'll be nobody to take care of him,"
she said.
"We could ask him to come here."
"We could."
"I'll write to him."
"There's no post till Monday."
"Time enough."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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