"Oh, Terry! Would you really come?" There was a break in Grace's voice,
and her hand sought Theresa's. "Would you? I've always wanted to."
"Have you? Won't you be ashamed? I'm such a gawk."
"Ashamed! You're lovely. I shall be so proud to show you off. There's no
one like you, Terry. You're--you're a person! And if you'd only be a
little tidier, you would be pretty. And nothing"--the loyalty of her
heart swelled triumphantly into her voice--"nothing can prevent your
being distinguished!"
Theresa chuckled. She had no illusions as to her outer self.
"Don't overdo it. I don't expect to be a success, but I should like to
have a little fun. I've been--a bit lonely."
"Oh!" Grace moaned over her and held her close. "I didn't know you were
wanting it. I didn't, Terry!"
"And I wasn't--truly. But now---"
"Well, you shan't be lonely any more, darling."
Theresa was wiser. She knew there was something in her nature which
would not be so easily satisfied, but she did not know how to feed it;
it was always piteously hungry, and even when she had drugged it with
the sweet drink of gaiety and laughter, she could hear its muffled
weeping far down in the depths of her heart.
The social engagements of these hard-working young women were not of an
extravagant nature, nor were they many; but there were dances now and
then, and supper parties, and sometimes a bevy of men and maidens would
wait patiently outside the theatre for the joy of sitting in the front
row of the pit, where they eat chocolates between the acts. On these
occasions Uncle George always went to bed before their return, as a sign
of his displeasure, but Edward Webb had the kettle on the fire and warm
slippers for them if the night were cold.
Theresa liked dancing, and she liked going to the theatre, but she never
lost her sense of strangeness in the company of Grace's friends. She
knew she was essentially different from them, and she always found
herself looking at things from the opposite side to theirs, so that
there seemed to be a high wall between them, barring sight and deadening
sound. Yet she had her little success among them. They thought her
amusing, and she enjoyed their admiration, but gradually she dropped out
of their affairs. That voice within was now impervious to the drugs, and
she could get no peace from its clamour. Constant listening to the sound
brought back the elfin eagerness of her looks, she grew thinner and more
restless, yet her face grew indefinably in beauty of line and texture,
for though she was unsatisfied and uncertain, she was at least listening
to the claims of her spirit, and trying to understand them.
"What's the matter, Terry? Why aren't you coming?" Grace asked, with
wide eyes full of anxious love, and Theresa, after searching for a way
of putting it, replied:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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