Ov all th' enjoyments' at sweeten man's life, Ther's nooan can come up to a sweet tempered wife; An' he must be lonesome, an' have little pleasure, 'At doesn't possess sich a woman to treasure. But them 'at expect when they tak hooam a bride, 'At nowt nobbut sunshine wi' them will abide, An' think 'at noa sorrow will iver oppress, They'll find ther mistak aght, yo'll easily guess. For th' mooast fascinatin an' lovable elves, Are all on 'em mortal, just th' same as ussels, An' show tempers 'at sometimes are net ovver pleasant, They find fault whear ther's room, an' sometimes whear ther isn't, An' to get there own way, why they'll kiss, coax, or cavil, They'll smile like an angel, or storm like the devil. But aw've monny times sed, an' aw say it ageean, 'At women are ofter i'th' reight nor are th' men, Just fancy gooin hooam to a bachelor's bed, All shudderin an' shakkin yo lig daan yor heead. There's a summat a wantin, 'at fills yo wi' fear, Yo can turn as yo like, but you find it's not thear, An' yo freeat an' yo fitter, or weep like a willow; An' for want o' owt better, mak love to a pillow. But him 'at's been blessed wi' a wife he can love, Liggs his heead on her breast pure as snow from above, An' ther's nubdy could buy it for silver or gold, An' he wodn't exchange it for Abrahams of old. An' he falls hard asleep, wi' her arm raand his neck, An' gets up lik a lark, an' then works like a brick. 'Nah, friends, aw wish to say a few words befoor aw goa. Awm varry sorry 'at aw brack that drum, but yo see it wor an accident, an' aw've done my best to mak it up, an' as Dick's recitation maks me think awd better be gettin hooam, or aw shall happen find it varry warm when aw get thear. Aw'll nobbut call o' one moor befoor sayin gooid neet, an' that's Mose Hart. If he's hear aw should like him to try agean; ther's nowt like perseverance, an' if a chap fails twelve times th' thirteenth may pay for all.' 'Mr. Cheerman, Mozart wor deead long befoor yo wor born or thowt on.' 'Then that chap 'at dug his elbow into my guts tell'd me a lie, for he sed he'd just made a mess for th' twelfth time when aw come in.' Ther wor a crack o' laffin when he sed that, for th' chaps saw his mistak, an' soa one on 'em went quietly up to him an' explained it. 'O, then,' he sed, 'if he's deead we may as weel goa hooam, an' all aw've getten to say is 'at ony time yo chonce to come by awr haase, just luk in an' aw'll mak yo welcome, an' my owd lass'll mak yo a mess o' some sooart 'at'll do yo some gooid. Yo'll find it easy, for aw live th' next door to th' Pig an' Whistle, an' soa aw wish yo all a varry gooid neet--Come on Dick.' Th' Hoil-i'th'-Hill Statty. CHAPTER I.