Yorkshire Oddities, Incidents, and Strange EventsBaring-Gould, S. (Sabine)
History
Yorkshire Oddities, Incidents, and Strange Events
Baring-Gould, S. (Sabine)
Legends -- England -- Yorkshire; Yorkshire (England) -- Miscellanea
"There's a deal o' things belonging to all things," answered the worthy
butcher, who never suffered himself to be cornered. "If a horse were o'
one side o' a pond, and another on t' other side, and t' first horse ses
to t' other, 'Jim, I looks towards ye!' and t' other ses to the first,
'Thank y' kindly, Tom; I catches your eye.' And the first horse ses
again, 'Tha'll tak' another sup, lad, and drink ma health'; the second
will be sewer to say, 'I will, and I'll drink to lots o' your healths.'
Why, sir, them two horses will be nobbin to one another iver so long.
Lor bless ye! them two horses win't part till they's as drunk as
Christians."
James at one time was not well off. He had a brother whom we will call
Tom, who had some money.
Now James happened to hear that his brother was very ill, and as they
had not latterly been very good friends, he was afraid lest, if Tom
died, he would not leave him his money.
So he immediately set off to his brother's house, and on his arrival
found him ill in bed. He went up to the room in which his brother lay,
and began--"Weel, Tommy, an' hoo art a'?"
"Oah, James!" said Tom, "I'se vara bad. I thinks I's boun' to dee."
"Eh!" said James, "well, mebbe tha'lt outlive me, Tommy; I nobbut feels
vara middlin' mysen. I hain't felt weel for a long while, and I war just
thinking, Tommy, o' sending to Mr. Smith, t' lawyer, to mak' me a bit o'
a will, tha knaws. Hast a' made _thy_ will, Tommy?"
"Noa," said Tom, "I hain't; but I was thinking wi' thee, James, o'
sending for Lawyer Smith. Noo, who wast a' thinking o' making thy heir,
James?"
"Weel, tha knaws, Tommy," said James, "mebbe thou and me hain't lately
been vara particklers; but I war thinking it ever owt ta be, 'Let
bygones be bygones'; and soa I was thinking o' leaving my bit o' brass
to thee. Noo, Tommy, hoo wast a' thinking o' leaving thy money?"
"Why," said Tommy, "as thou'st been sa good as leave thy money ta me, I
think it wadn't be reet if I didn't do t' same by thee, and leave thee
my brass."
"Weel," said James, "I think thou couldn't do better; and soa let's send
for Mr. Smith to mak' our wills, and I think mebbe, Tommy, _thou'd
better ha' thy will made fust_."
So these two men sent for the lawyer to make their wills. Tommy's was
made first, and a very few days after he died. His money then came to
James, who in reality was not ill in the least, but had only pretended
to be so.
One of James the butcher's sayings I well remember. He was addressing a
young man who was courting a girl, and was very hot and eager in his
pursuit of her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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