VALENTINE. You're quite right. It's perfect madness. If we go out to dance together I shall have to borrow five shillings from her for a ticket. Gloria: don't be rash: you're throwing yourself away. I'd much better clear straight out of this, and never see any of you again. I shan't commit suicide: I shan't even be unhappy. It'll be a relief to me: I--I'm frightened, I'm positively frightened; and that's the plain truth. GLORIA (determinedly). You shall not go. VALENTINE (quailing). No, dearest: of course not. But--oh, will somebody only talk sense for a moment and bring us all to reason! I can't. Where's Bohun? Bohun's the man. Phil: go and summon Bohun-- PHILIP. From the vastly deep. I go. (He makes his bat quiver in the air and darts away through the window.) WAITER (harmoniously to Valentine). If you will excuse my putting in a word, sir, do not let a matter of five shillings stand between you and your happiness, sir. We shall be only too pleased to put the ticket down to you: and you can settle at your convenience. Very glad to meet you in any way, very happy and pleased indeed, sir. PHILIP (re-appearing). He comes. (He waves his bat over the window. Bohun comes in, taking off his false nose and throwing it on the table in passing as he comes between Gloria and Valentine.) VALENTINE. The point is, Mr. Bohun-- McCOMAS (interrupting from the hearthrug). Excuse me, sir: the point must be put to him by a solicitor. The question is one of an engagement between these two young people. The lady has some property, and (looking at Crampton) will probably have a good deal more. CRAMPTON. Possibly. I hope so. VALENTINE. And the gentleman hasn't a rap. BOHUN (nailing Valentine to the point instantly). Then insist on a settlement. That shocks your delicacy: most sensible precautions do. But you ask my advice; and I give it to you. Have a settlement. GLORIA (proudly). He shall have a settlement. VALENTINE. My good sir, I don't want advice for myself. Give h e r some advice. BOHUN. She won't take it. When you're married, she won't take yours either-- (turning suddenly on Gloria) oh, no, you won't: you think you will; but you won't. He'll set to work and earn his living-- (turning suddenly to Valentine) oh, yes, you will: you think you won't; but you will. She'll make you. CRAMPTON (only half persuaded). Then, Mr. Bohun, you don't think this match an unwise one? BOHUN. Yes, I do: all matches are unwise. It's unwise to be born; it's unwise to be married; it's unwise to live; and it's unwise to die.