WAITER (insinuating himself between Crampton and Valentine). Then, if I may respectfully put in a word in, sir, so much the worse for wisdom! (To Valentine, benignly.) Cheer up, sir, cheer up: every man is frightened of marriage when it comes to the point; but it often turns out very comfortable, very enjoyable and happy indeed, sir--from time to time. I never was master in my own house, sir: my wife was like your young lady: she was of a commanding and masterful disposition, which my son has inherited. But if I had my life to live twice over, I'd do it again, I'd do it again, I assure you. You never can tell, sir: you never can tell. PHILIP. Allow me to remark that if Gloria has made up her mind-- DOLLY. The matter's settled and Valentine's done for. And we're missing all the dances. VALENTINE (to Gloria, gallantly making the best of it). May I have a dance-- BOHUN (interposing in his grandest diapason). Excuse me: I claim that privilege as counsel's fee. May I have the honor--thank you. (He dances away with Gloria and disappears among the lanterns, leaving Valentine gasping.) VALENTINE (recovering his breath). Dolly: may I-- (offering himself as her partner)? DOLLY. Nonsense! (Eluding him and running round the table to the fireplace.) Finch--my Finch! (She pounces on McComas and makes him dance.) McCOMAS (protesting). Pray restrain--really--(He is borne off dancing through the window.) VALENTINE (making a last effort). Mrs. Clandon: may I-- PHILIP (forestalling him). Come, mother. (He seizes his mother and whirls her away.) MRS. CLANDON (remonstrating). Phil, Phil-- (She shares McComas's fate.) CRAMPTON (following them with senile glee). Ho! ho! He! he! he! (He goes into the garden chuckling at the fun.) VALENTINE (collapsing on the ottoman and staring at the waiter). I might as well be a married man already. (The waiter contemplates the captured Duellist of Sex with affectionate commiseration, shaking his head slowly.) CURTAIN. End of Project Gutenberg's You Never Can Tell, by George Bernard Shaw