You no longer count (Tu n'es plus rien!)Boylesve, René
General
You no longer count (Tu n'es plus rien!)
Boylesve, René
World War, 1914-1918 -- Fiction
In spite of herself, these unpremeditated words brought a sudden light
into the perplexed thoughts with which Odette's persistent sorrow and
her natural disposition as a loving young woman inspired Clotilde. She
felt impelled to cry out to her: "You think you are loving a dead man,
my poor dear! but you are not twenty-eight years old; you are in love
with love; it is always here, and is waiting for you!"
Both of them were equally incapable of disguising the truth as it
appeared to them. Odette, bound by a tie whose almost inconceivable
strength kept down every other sort of desire; Clotilde simply deep in
love to the point of hardly being able to imagine a case different from
her own. By chance she had not uttered words which deeply wound a
bleeding heart, but Odette's acute senses at once perceived that there
is hardly any conversation possible even upon the dearest subject that
they may have in common, between two creatures, one of whom is happy and
the other in sorrow.
She at least observed this: that Clotilde, from an absolutely opposite
point of view, was at one with Mme. de Blauve, with Mme. de Calouas,
with La Villaumer, with each and every one, in saying to her: "My dear
friend, you should not always mourn."
And her grief, so genuine, was increased tenfold.
But Clotilde, self-indulgent, egotistic, and thinking only of her own
pleasure or of sparing herself pain, was saying to Odette:
"See here, my dear; will you do me a great service? Will you come to
lunch with us to-morrow? Would that bore you?"
"Why should it bore me? Why do you call it doing you a service?"
"It is settled, then. See here; I must tell you a secret. You know how I
love my husband, how happy I am. There is only one dark spot: my husband
has a friend, a blinded officer--Captain Dessaud. He brings him two or
three times a week to lunch, on the pretext that he is lonely, with no
family, and desperate. Of course I cannot object, you understand; but
the sight of that man is painful to me to a degree that you would never
believe. I have to talk to him, and I have nothing to say to a fellow
who has lost his sight, who hopes for nothing, who has no motive for
being happy. I am sick with it. Come to my help--you are used to
wretchedness, you know!"
"Yes indeed, yes indeed, I will come."
XXV
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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