There was no occasion, either in the Council or in the Presbytery, when
the Bailie did not impress; but every one agreed that he rose to his
height on the Bench. No surprise, either of evidence or of law, could be
sprung on him, no sensational incident ever stirred him, no excitement
of the people ever carried him away. He was the terror of the publicans,
and would refuse a license if he saw fit without any fear; but if the
teetotalers tried to dictate to him, he would turn upon them and rend
his own friends without mercy. When any Muirtown sinner was convicted in
his court he would preface his sentence with a ponderous exhortation,
and if the evidence were not sufficient he would allow the accused to go
as an act of grace, but warn him never to appear again, lest a worse
thing should befall him. There are profane people in every community,
and there were those in Muirtown who used to say in private places that
the Bailie was only a big drum, full of emptiness and sound; but the
local lawyers found it best to treat him with respect; and until the
Seminary boys took his Majesty in hand he had never been worsted. No
doubt an Edinburgh advocate, who had been imported into a petty case to
browbeat the local Bench, thought he had the Bailie on the hip when that
eminent man, growing weary of continual allusions to "the defunct," said
that if he heard anything more about "the defunct" he would adjourn the
case for a week, and allow him to appear in his own interests. Then the
advocate explained with elaborate politeness that he was afraid that
even the summons of the Muirtown Bench could not produce this party, and
that his appearance, if he came, might secure the court to himself.
"You mean," said the Bailie, eyeing the advocate with unmoved dignity,
"that the man is dead. Quite so! Quite so! But let me tell you that if
you had been a Muirtown solicitor you would have had your case better
prepared, and not wasted our time with the talk of dead people. You are
still young, and when you have had more experience you will know that it
is only the evidence of living witnesses that can be received in a court
of justice. Proceed with your case and confine yourself to relevant
evidence--yes, sir, relevant evidence."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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