Young Earnest: The Romance of a Bad Start in LifeCannan, Gilbert
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Young Earnest: The Romance of a Bad Start in Life
Cannan, Gilbert
English fiction -- 20th century
"I wish I'd thought of it like that before," he said. "I'd never have
let him go to her. I might have known he would make a mess of it. He
was simply bursting with exaltation, and when he's like that it never
occurs to him that other people may have a different view. I half
believe he expected Ann to share his enthusiasm for the other
lady----"
Lotta could not help laughing, though she protested: "What a shame!"
"I can't help it," said Kilner, "other people's love affairs always
are comic, and Fourmy--well, he is simply inappropriate in a community
of creatures who live by cunning."
"You've hit it," replied Lotta. "I've been trying to understand what
it was made him so exceptional. Creatures who live by cunning----
Thank you, Mr. Kilner."
"All artists are like that. Cunning is no use in the pursuit of art.
But they are insulated by their work as ordinary people are by
convention and habit. No artist takes personal relationships
seriously. They happen. He handles them well or makes a mess of them.
It does not greatly matter. The ordinary being cannot appreciate any
personal relationship until it is conventionalized and stripped of its
vigor and value. Well--you have seen your Fourmy in action."
"And well worth seeing too."
Kilner told her what he could make of the new disaster, and how Ann
had hated him and destroyed his work.
"I imagine," he said, "that the same blind instinct operated against
Fourmy. He's creative also in a way. My pictures, his life, his
precious romantic life, are both things slowly shaped out of chaos,
and the creative process in a man is absolutely indifferent to the
stupid security most women value. Ann did her ridiculous little best
to stop it in both of us."
"Poor girl," said Lotta, "I can imagine the two of you driving her
distracted. After all, what she was going through was important to
her."
"But only to her. She wanted it to be important for him. It couldn't
be: it was quite meaningless."
"Nature is cruelly indifferent."
"If she weren't," said Kilner, "we should never have developed
intelligence, let alone imagination."
"What are we to do with them?"
"I'll look after Fourmy if you'll take charge of Ann. Only, remember,
you are not supposed to know that she did it, and, please, I have told
you nothing about my picture."
The caution was unnecessary, for Ann tumbled out a full confession as
she sank into the comfort of Lotta's kindness. She guessed at once who
Lotta was, but was too exhausted for resentment. She had dragged
herself off to her work in order to fill in the creeping hours.
Lotta said she was a friend of René's, and wished to help, and asked
if there was anything she could do. Ann burst into tears and rolled
her head from side to side, and cried:
"Oh! I wish I was dead, I do. I nearly did myself in last night when
he lay there in the dark not saying a word. I wish I had--I wish I
had. I never been so miserable. . . ."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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