lip, and walking with a deliberate slow movement. He would have scorned
himself had he showed any excitement; but strolled out with a leisurely
slow step and a smile. They would talk the matter out, the two whom he
had left; even though Mary’s heart would be more with him than with her
brother, still she would be bound to follow Randolph’s lead. They would
talk of his health, of how he was looking feeble, his age beginning to
tell upon him, and how it would be very expedient to know what the
conditions of his will were, and whether he had made any provision for
the peculiar circumstances, or arrangement for the holding of the
estate. “I ought to be the first person considered,” he thought he heard
Randolph saying. Randolph had always thought himself the first person to
be considered. At this penetration of his own the Squire smiled again,
and walked away very steadily, very slowly, humming a bar of an
old-fashioned air.
He went thus through the broken woodland towards the east, and strolled
into the Chase like a man taking a walk for pleasure. The birds sang
overhead, little rabbits popped out from the great tree-trunks, and a
squirrel ran up one of them and across a long branch, where it sat
peering at him. All was familiar, certain, well known; he had seen the
same sights and heard the same sounds for the last seventy years; and
the sunshine shone with the same calm assurance of shining as at other
times, and all this rustling, breathing life went on as it had always
gone on. There was scarcely a leaf, scarcely a moss-covered stone that
did not hide or shelter something living. The air was full of life;
sounds of all kinds, twitter and hum and rustle, his own step among
other movements, his own shadow moving across the sunshine. And he felt
well enough, not running over with health and vigour as he had sometimes
felt long ago, not disposed to vault over walls and gates in that
unlicensed exuberance which belongs to youth only, but well
enough--quite well, in short; steady afoot, his breathing easy, his head
clear, everything about him comfortable. Notwithstanding which, his
children were discussing, as in reference to a quite near and probable
event, what was to be done when he should die! The Squire smiled at the
thought, but it was a smile which got fixed and painful on his lip, and
was not spontaneous or agreeable. The amusement to be got from such an
idea is not of a genial kind. He was over seventy, and he knew, who
better? that threescore and ten has been set down as the limit of mortal
life. No doubt he must die--every man must die. It was a thing before
him not to be eluded; the darkness, indeed, was very near, according to
all ordinary law; but the Squire did not feel it, was not in his soul
convinced of it. He believed it, of course; all other men of his age
die, and in their case the precautions of the family are prudent and
natural; in his own case it is true he did not feel the necessity; but
yet no doubt it must be so.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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