Your Child: Today and Tomorrow: Some Problems for Parents Concerning Punishment, Reasoning, Lies, Ideals and Ambitions, Fear, Work and Play, Imagination, Social Activities, Obedience, Adolescence, Will, HeredityGruenberg, Sidonie Matsner
Science
Your Child: Today and Tomorrow: Some Problems for Parents Concerning Punishment, Reasoning, Lies, Ideals and Ambitions, Fear, Work and Play, Imagination, Social Activities, Obedience, Adolescence, Will, Heredity
Gruenberg, Sidonie Matsner
Children
But if discipline is the means for attaining freedom, how does it
come about that in the past (and for most people to-day) discipline
has appeared as a method of _compelling_ children to do the
right thing--"until they have the habit"? How does it come about
that discipline, in the minds of most people, consists so largely of
_restraining_ children from doing undesirable acts--until they
are well started into the safe age of discretion? The reason seems
to be that the need for discipline or training makes itself most
quickly felt where children--or older people--infringe upon the
rights of others, or upon the proprieties. We miss discipline where
a child fails of self-restraint, acts impulsively, or loses his
temper. In short, failure of early training is indicated wherever
there is lack of self-control, or a lack of proper application to
the business in hand. It is therefore natural that discipline should
early take the form of commanding and prohibiting.
It is but a short step from this view of discipline to the
philosophy that what children do spontaneously, what they like to
do, must be wrong. And the complement to this is the feeling that
virtue and character can arise only from doing what is disagreeable
or difficult.
But the newer studies in the psychology of childhood lead to a
totally different theory of character formation. And many
experiments made in schools and institutions confirm these new
theories at every point. Moreover, if we look about, perhaps even in
our own homes, I am sure we can all find abundant support for the
modern view.
The new studies have to do with the relation that our emotions bear
to our activities and especially to the formation of habits. To
learn to do a thing, we have known for ages, we must practise
continuously and uniformly. But we did not know that the state of
feelings connected with the performance of the act had anything to
do with the result. Richard must master the scales in his music
study. These scales can be mastered in only one way--he must play
them over and over and over again, until he just has them. But
suppose Richard does not care to practise the scales over and over
and over again? Suppose that he does not care whether he ever
masters the scales or not. Well, he can be _made_ to practise,
at any rate; and perhaps some day he will thank his elders for
having thus forced upon him the extremely valuable but unappreciated
command of the scales.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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