Your Child: Today and Tomorrow: Some Problems for Parents Concerning Punishment, Reasoning, Lies, Ideals and Ambitions, Fear, Work and Play, Imagination, Social Activities, Obedience, Adolescence, Will, HeredityGruenberg, Sidonie Matsner
Science
Your Child: Today and Tomorrow: Some Problems for Parents Concerning Punishment, Reasoning, Lies, Ideals and Ambitions, Fear, Work and Play, Imagination, Social Activities, Obedience, Adolescence, Will, Heredity
Gruenberg, Sidonie Matsner
Children
The problem that confronts us is: How can we save and strengthen the
fine qualities which this spontaneous association with other boys
produces without encouraging the lawlessness and the destructiveness
and the secretiveness of the gang? First of all, we mothers must
recognize not only that the boy cannot be happy without his
associates, but also that the social virtues will never be developed
in him at all if we keep him at home away from the others or
restricted to one or two play-mates--which we may like to select for
him. Then, when this is perfectly clear to us, we will take the next
step, which will be to use all the resources of the homes and of the
community to change the antisocial gang into a club. The difference
between a gang and a _club_ is not a matter of clean clothes
and "nice" manners. It is a difference in mental attitude. The gang
has rules and it has power. The club has put its rules into form and
it _knows_ what it can do and what it wants to do. In other
words, the gang is a casual, random group that drifts about in the
village or in the city, subject to every passing influence, whereas
the club is a deliberate, purposeful organization with definite aims
and developments. Both meet the needs of the growing boy for
association; both give the social instincts and virtues suitable
opportunity for exercise.
This problem of giving the boys a chance to get together and do what
their instincts drive them to do is not one merely for the mothers who
can provide for their boys little or no supervision, and whose boys
play in the streets and vacant lots. The problem is just as great in
the case of the well-to-do, who provide constant supervision for their
children. Indeed, it is a serious question whether the condition of
the children of wealthier families is not in this respect more
dangerous than that of the less wealthy. With the boys of the street
the problem is how to divert the activities into suitable channels;
with the closely-guarded boys of the wealthy the problem is how to
develop the spirit of loyalty and self-sacrifice and honor, which have
been suppressed by the restricted and artificial associations of the
solicitous home. Both kinds of boys must be left free to form their
own associations, but the groups must be so directed in their club
activities (without, however, suspecting that they are being directed)
as to connect their interests with lawful amusements, civic needs, and
social relations. The great danger is that when adults take a hand in
these matters they fix their attention upon the civic and moral
virtues and overlook the instincts of activity and sociability which
call the gang into being, and the club degenerates into a preachy
Sunday- school class.
[Illustration: The boys need a chance to get together.]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account