Your Child: Today and Tomorrow: Some Problems for Parents Concerning Punishment, Reasoning, Lies, Ideals and Ambitions, Fear, Work and Play, Imagination, Social Activities, Obedience, Adolescence, Will, HeredityGruenberg, Sidonie Matsner
Science
Your Child: Today and Tomorrow: Some Problems for Parents Concerning Punishment, Reasoning, Lies, Ideals and Ambitions, Fear, Work and Play, Imagination, Social Activities, Obedience, Adolescence, Will, Heredity
Gruenberg, Sidonie Matsner
Children
Our children are so imitative that a child with marked talents will
occasionally not reveal these in surroundings that lay emphasis on
qualities unrelated to these talents. So many a boy with high-grade
musical ability will fail to show this where music is looked down
upon as something unworthy of a man. In the same way children will
develop ideals in imitation of what goes on around them. Every child
is likely at some time in his career to look forward to money-making
as the most desirable end in life; but most normal children will
pass beyond this ideal before adolescence. If, however, the
atmosphere in which the child lives is one of money-getting, the
child without strong tendencies toward other ideals is likely to
allow this ideal to persist into adolescence and young manhood or
womanhood. In such cases the ideal becomes fixed without indicating
that the individual is "by nature" of an avaricious temperament or
materialistically inclined.
The same principle of imitativeness would, of course, apply to other
ideals. This explains to us why the recurrence of certain ideals or
modes of life in successive generations of a family leads to the
supposition that there are "hereditary" elements at work. It is also
a good reason why we should guard against the contaminating
influence of unworthy ideals. It is impossible for us to carry about
imitation virtues and fool our children into imitating them.
Children begin to form their ideals early in life, and their first
standards are derived from the people and the things about them that
contribute to their pleasures--sweets and parents and the heroes of
the fairy tales.
As the child's experience broadens he borrows ideals from new
acquaintances and the characters he meets in his reading.
The child absorbs from his surroundings, from his acquaintances, and
from his reading, as well as from the instruction that he receives
in school or in church, materials for building a world of what
_ought_ to be. And in this world he himself plays a very
important role. We must therefore make sure that the materials for
ideals which are within our control shall be of the best.
Loose conversation, cynicism, open disrespect for the noble things
in human character, lack of faith in human nature cannot be
exhibited to the child day after day without having their sinister
effect. It is true that some children, here and there, will resist
these unfavorable influences, and will come out of the struggle
strong and self-reliant, with faith in their own ideals and with
faith in mankind. But we cannot afford to treat the developing
character of the child on the theory that it needs exercise and
temptation as a gymnast needs exercise and trying tasks. The
temptation that becomes a habitual stimulus to wrong doing or wrong
thinking has no moral value. The child is only too ready to follow
the path of least resistance, and the temptations will come aplenty
after the ideals begin to form.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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