Zones of the Spirit: A Book of ThoughtsStrindberg, August
Religion
Zones of the Spirit: A Book of Thoughts
Strindberg, August
Swedish literature
This married pair were so united, that each was, as it were, born in
the other. He carried her heart about in him literally. When, on a
journey to some relatives, she was frightened by a shying horse and had
a fit of palpitations, he felt it in his breast, and his heart stood
still for a moment when she fainted. Similarly, when he once pricked
himself with a needle, she felt it. They lived in each other, were each
other's children and each other's parents.
Then she died. He nearly died too, did die perhaps, and rose again. And
now he speaks with her, hears her voice in his heart, literally, not in
a figure.
I do not doubt it at all, for I have had a similar experience, and
much, much more.
=The Box on the Ear.=--I was thirty years old, and life was mine
for the first time after I had lain in the potato-cellar and shot out
white rootlets instead of growing. I had secured a home, wife, and
child, and was my own master. After I had done the day's task I used
to invite friends in; I call them "friends" because they got on well
with me and I with them. We did no harm; we played like children with
words and sounds; we disguised ourselves in order to look more fine; we
composed and delivered speeches. I think no one would grudge me these
hours.
But soon there was something of satiety in it; we had wounded the
dignity of sacred sleep; the wine turned sour in the glasses. One night
towards morning, in a cheerful circle, at a full table, my high spirits
broke bounds, since fortune had given me everything at once, and I
uttered a word which a married man should not utter. I immediately
received a box on the ear from a strong hand. I found it quite natural,
and continued what I was saying, but in another and better tone. No one
took notice of what had happened; all went on as before; and we all
parted as friends.
He who gave me the buffet was a bachelor of not superfine morals. If he
had disapproved my point of view, it must have been a very low one.
For several days I had a blue mark on my cheek. My wife said nothing,
only one of my friends let fall a remark, "How could you put up with
that?"
"I must have felt that I deserved it! Otherwise I cannot explain it."
Now, when I am sixty years old, I wish that I had received several such
boxes on the ear, for the first was no use. Recognising that, I feel
that it was a great piece of good-fortune that I was able to confess
it. And now I should like to live twenty years more, in order to forget
my slowness to learn, with its sad consequences.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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