Robert Orange: Being a Continuation of the History of Robert Orange
Thomas Hobbes · en
A boy-like spirit showed
itself in all her words, movements, moods; her womanhood still slept,
and thus, while her intelligence made her an unusual companion and her
beauty presented a constant appeal to all that is romantic, it was
inevitable that melancholy and reserve should enter largely into the
passionate love which Robert felt for her. He told himself that he would
not have her different. The glance of her eyes, which stirred him
strangely to the very depths of his being, never varied in its sweetness
nor its calm. When her lightest touch could sway his body and spirit,
she, unconscious of her power, would press his hand against her cheek
and talk about the geraniums in the convent garden or the chances of the
Carlist war. It was all wonderful. It had seemed perfect. And yet--and
yet. She was not cold, but was she unearthly? Was she, perhaps, some
straying angel--some fervid, bright spirit, flame-coloured and
intangible, a being of the elfin race? As they stood together looking at
the distant coastline a depression which he could neither fathom nor
control came over him. His bride seemed so much younger than he had
ever realised. She cared for him--how could he doubt it? But was the
indefinable, indispensable feeling absent?
"Do you remember our journey from Catesby?" she asked suddenly. "I
slept. Wasn't I dull? Did you mind?"
No one could see them. He stooped and kissed her fragrant, animated
face. "I wish," said he, "I wish that you were not quite such a child."
The feeling of solitariness weighed upon his soul with a crushing weight
unknown until that day--the day of days, his wedding day. Heretofore he
had craved for solitude because it had been full of her imagined
companionship. Now that she actually lived and talked by his side, the
fancied image of her paled, vanished. The real creature was adorable,
but, for some reason, maddening, and not, at all events, the being of
his fancy. Their old relations--ethereal and exquisite, no doubt--now
seemed an empty mockery, self-deluding foolishness. He coloured at the
remembrance of all that Disraeli had hinted, and Reckage had brutally
declared, on the large topic of idealism in passion. A man, in spite of
all determinations to be uncomplaining, knows the How much and How
little that he may demand, merely as a man, from any given advantage or
disadvantage in existence. Robert, hating himself, condemning himself,
was conscious, in spite of himself, that Brigit's affection for him was
not love in the full human sense of the word. He had exchanged an
ordinary self-restraint for an impossibly false position. She could
inspire his life, but could she enter into it, be it, live it with him
daily? Would there not have to be great reservations, half statements,
and, worst of all, a subtle kind of hypocrisy? He reproached himself for
selfishness, yet the fear came and it remained. He had captured the
rainbow and married the goddess. Were there not many legends