A man on a suburban road at noonday, with the sun shining brilliantly,
walks along thinking of his private affairs and heedless of
surroundings. But when the toils of day are ended, and he proceeds along
that same road in a darkness scarcely illuminated by a few lamps, his
feelings are less comfortable. Of course much depends upon the man being
sensitive or stolid, but in any case this matters little in the present
instance, as the illustration is merely used to symbolise the mental
state of Alice during the evening of her lover's absence. One moment she
was clothed in the radiance of perfect security and peace; the next, and
a dreadful gloom descended upon her bringing anguish and distress.
Naturally there was no physical change, but in some inexplicable way she
felt that an inward light was quenched. Alice had never read St.
Teresa's "Castles of the Soul," or the explanations of that terrible
saint would have given her the key to her condition.
As it was she felt as though the sun had fallen from the sky, and
quailed in the dense darkness pricked with feeble lights which now
surrounded her. Little as she knew it, those same lights represented the
sum of what experience she had gained with painful learning through many
successive lives. The knowledge and attainments of Eberstein, who had
reached an infinitely higher level than herself, beamed in that
splendour which had been withdrawn. But what little light she possessed
and what greater light he had gained were only what each could receive
of The True Light "which lighteth every man that cometh into the world!"
Hitherto, Eberstein had given for her use what glory he had earned;
now--since the child must learn to walk alone if it ever hopes to come
to maturity--he had stood aside for the moment, so that she could make
the attempt with what strength she possessed. But Alice did not know all
this, and could only feel supremely wretched and forsaken.