The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities — David Hume — John Shaqi
The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
David Hume · en
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│ SEPTEMBER. │ [1837.│
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│ │Soft, simple innocent!—how well you show │
│ │ The gentle pastimes of your Cockney mates; │
│ │From him, who sparrows shoots with penny bow, │
│ │ To him who, armed with Manton, braves the fates! │
│ │Alack! it grieves me that this shoeless boy │
│ │Should bootless follow the delusive joy; │
│ │For e'en the salt of _attic_ wit doth fail │
│ │To catch a goose:—'and thereby hangs a tale.' │
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│D.│ =Great Events and Odd Matters.= │ _Prognosti- │
│ │ │ fications._ │
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│ │Passenger-shooting begins. Old ladies and young │ │
│ 1│ children deemed fair game by cab and omnibus │ │
│ │ drivers. │ │
│ │ │ Further- │
│ 2│New _Style_. Eleven days _stepped_ over. │ more, │
│ │ │ │
│ 3│ │ △ ☿ ♍ ♅ │
│ │ [Illustration]│ │
│ 4│_Bartlemy Fair._ "Fair is foul, and foul is fair," │ let a │
│ │ Dabble thro' the mud "and filthy │ │
│ │ air." │ │
│ 5│ │ needy man │
│ │ │ │
│ 6│The sun of Bartlemy is well-nigh set, and his │ ☉ ♊ │
│ │latest rays are dull as the Dutch metal that gilds │ │
│ 7│his gingerbread kings. The last fair was a foul │ essay to │
│ │concern--the lions roared in a saw-dust solitude │ │
│ 8│and the monkeys chatter'd to empty boxes.--"Just │ open the │
│ │going to begin" was a never-ending cry, because │ │
│ 9│the sights waited all day for want of see-ers--Mr. │ heart or │
│ │Merryman was sad, for people would not down with │ │
│10│the dumps; and though he cried "Walk up! only │ draw │
│ │twopence," he failed to "take his change out of │ │
│11│that." In vain King Richard offer'd his kingdom │ the │
│ │for a horse; there were only a few asses within │purse-strings│
│12│ear-ing. The sausages met with no stuffers, and │ │