The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
David Hume · en
hold gentel man Jumt out off a 2 pare off stares windy on to a Pattant
air fetherbed only unfortynat the made forgot to Blo it up in the mornin
and consiquensialy the hold gemman insted off Braking his fal only Broke
2 off his ribs i was lukky anuff to sea a yung wumman Drownded in the
sirpintine wich she wood hav Savd her life if it hadent Bean for 1 off
the umain sasietys men Geting intangld in her petty cotes & keping her
hed too lung under Warter allso sea a hold wumman nokt Down by a noo
polease & 3 men kild by Safety cabs to say nothink off hacksidents by
homini-bus wich is no wunder seaing the number they Cary wich yew no
Siting down 13 is unlukkines itself allso Bean pressant at a Dredfull
drunken row in a coart in pety france wich master and me Geting into the
Coart end we was quite jamd in & in Devvaring to cut our Lukky receevd
sevral Unlukky blos but at last the noo polease Arivd & evry Sole tuk to
his Eels & as master laffably sed insted off the Batl of a Gin court
turnt out the Batl of Runnymede but deerest Feby doant Bleav in the midl
off al this plessuring nayther master nor me is appy in lunnun i asure
yew we ar quite Contrayry & artily Repent as evver we Consentid to becum
parliment men for West stafordsheer wich befour we was hindipendant
members we cood Do ass we likt But now just Revers & ar quite tide by
our 4 legs master as Bean admitd at crokfuds a notoryus hel but poor
feller he finds hisself quite out off his Hellyment & indede boath him &
me is quite at a Los without our old friends the Cows & shepe & yew &
missis & al the rest off the beests ass we hav Bean ust to al our lives
& master is grew quite thin in consequents & Bleav me Feby tho i doant
Take in my waste cotes so menny oles i mis yew quite ass much ass master
missis missis we spend al our Spar time in Smith feeld wich is the only
rele plessure we hav Smith feeld is just the same ass 1 of our own
feelds in West stafordsheer only no gras nor no eges nor no riks of hay
nor no Stiles to sit a coartin on But ful of orses & cows & carves &
pigs & shepe & other Beestly sites O them deer pigs ow Glad i was to ear
there wel none vices it quite put me in mind of yew & deer Butermilk
villige & i rely cood have Stade a earin them squele al day Lung wich
deerest Feby doant Bleav wat i say about the pigs is al Gammon we hav
got a Bewtifull ous in pel mel & the yung ladys ar verry Gay mis Jewlia
is verry fond off Sowlogical gardning & gos evry day to Studdy the
hannimils at the regency Park allso mis Jawgeny rides out evry mornin on
her pony with James the noo sirvent beind on 1 off the hold coch orses
wich as Bean clipt & his tale Cut thurrow bred for the okasion the
sirvents is al very wel & my duty to yewr farther & ow is yewr sister
Suzn & poor litl nock need Nely & abuv al deerest luv Ows yewr muther
Respecktiv cumps to al yewr old felow sirvents & Pleas exept yewrself
deerest Feby