The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
David Hume · en
But they are a sad expense, these dear babies, after all. Fancy, Eliza,
how much this Mary Malowney costs us. Ten shillings every week; a glass
of brandy or gin at dinner, three pint bottles of Mr. Thrale's best
porter every day,—making twenty-one in a week; and nine hundred and
ninety in the eleven months she has been with us. Then, for baby, there
is Dr. Bates's bill of forty-five guineas, two guineas for christening,
twenty for a grand christening supper and ball (rich Uncle John mortally
offended because he was made godfather, and had to give baby a silver
cup: he has struck Thomas out of his will; and old Mr. Firkin quite as
much hurt because he was _not_ asked: he will not speak to me or John in
consequence); twenty guineas for flannels, laces, little gowns, caps,
napkins, and such baby's ware: and all this out of £300 a year! But
Thomas expects to make _a great deal_ by his farm.
We have got the most charming country-house _you can imagine_; it is
_quite shut in_ by trees, and so retired that, though only thirty miles
from London, the post comes to us but once a week. The roads, it must be
confessed, are execrable: it is winter now, and we are up to our knees
in mud and snow. But oh, Eliza! how happy we are: with Thomas (he has
had a sad attack of rheumatism, dear man!) and little Bobby, and our
kind friend Dr. Bates, who comes so far to see us, I leave you to fancy
that we have a charming merry party, and do not care for all the
gaieties of Ranelagh.
Adieu! dear baby is crying for his mamma: a thousand kisses from your
affectionate
SUSAN STUBBS.
* * * * *
There it is. Doctor's bills, gentleman-farming, twenty-one pints of
porter a week; in this way my unnatural parents were already robbing me
of my property.
[Illustration]
FEBRUARY [1839
[Illustration]
THE DORMANT PEERAGE—APPEALS IN THE LORDS.
1 in 10. Fleet Prisn. Fe be wary 9. 1838
DERE MOLLY,