Good judges in the law are they Of Sherry, Claret, and Tokay, And when their lordships deign to joke, And banish Lyttleton and Coke, They order that the best old Port Shall henceforth be a rule of court; That care shall be the fate of asses, Their only circuits be of glasses; And vow, 'midst clattering peals and thumpers, To charge no juries save in bumpers. So happy on such TERMS as these, They seem a court of common _please_, And wish, the toils of life to soften, That such RETURNS would come more often. 6. Old Lady Day. A learned saw does sagely say, that ancient dames should have their day, And calendars, 'tis very clear, provide it always once a-year; Thus, dearing, sneering, canting, kind, the kiss before, the bite behind, Fair fames, foul names, and Hyson Tea, all go to pot right merrilie. Come, now, I propose we try a rubber.—I'm shocked to hear it, I hope he'll drub her; these matches seem such infant's play;—Why, they're rather childish, but it wont do to throw a chance away,—And therefore you lose the trick, my dear: She'd give 'em the game if I'd let her.— Oh! I'm quite shock'd.—Don't mention it, ma'am, I suppose you know no better.—But as to Melbourne, people say, he's now grown quite a fixture.—Well, that may be; there are some shams, but it's genuine Howqua's Mixture.—Oh! I've discover'd a thing so strange, I could set you all by the ears if I chose it; but I greatly mind your peace of mind, so I never, never, never will disclose it.—Ah! what can it be, whisper to me, or I never shall live to leave the place.—Then I fear it's your lot to die on the spot, but, as a very great secret, these are the facts of the case:—... APRIL.—FOOLING. After this, as you may fancy, I left this disgusting establishment, and lived for some time along with pa and mamma at home. My education was finished, at least mamma and I agreed that it was: and from boyhood until hobbadyhoyhood (which I take to be about the sixteenth year of the life of a young man, and may be likened to the month of April when spring begins to bloom), from fourteen until seventeen, I say, I remained at home, doing nothing, for which I ever since have had a great taste, the idol of my mamma, who took part in all my quarrels with father, and used regularly to rob the weekly expenses in order to find me in pocket-money. Poor soul! many and many is the guinea I have had from her in that way; and so she enabled me to cut a very pretty figure.