The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
David Hume · en
Ye wives and ye widows! here's plenty of bidders;
Come hither, and each get a swain for herself;
To deck yourselves gaily, and grace the Old Bailey,
The pawnbrokers' shops will lend plenty of pelf.
Ye youth of the city! ye servant-maids pretty!
Ye unmarried damsels with characters rare!
Come here and be jolly, for virtue's a folly;
So, come and be ruin'd at BARTLEMY FAIR.
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┬────────────┐
│ MARCH. │ [1836.│
├─────────────┬──────────────────────────────────────────┴────────────┤
│ │Some ready cash Dick wants to borrow │
│ │ About this time—perhaps for rent; │
│ │But like most folks, he finds with sorrow │
│ │ He's just too late—it's always _Lent_. │
├──┬──────────┼──────────────────────────────────────────┬────────────┤
│ M│ Season's │ =Odd Matters.= │ WEATHER. │
│ D│ Signs. │ │ │
├──┼──────────┼──────────────────────────────────────────┼────────────┤
│ 1│Blowing │ │ │
│ │ │ │ │
│ 2│growing │ "DAY AND NIGHT EQUAL." │ although │
│ │ │ │ │
│ 3│here's a │ 'Tis SIX O'CLOCK;—and now the Sun │ ☊ ♅ ♌ ♑ │
│ │ │His daily course begins to run; │ │
│ 4│clatter! │While Folly's children slink away, │ somewhat │
│ │ │Like bats who dread the glare of day, │ │
│ 5│what the │From Masquerade or Fancy Ball, │ clumsy │
│ │ │Where pleasure reign'd in Fashion's Hall; │ │
│ 6│deuce │And sneak along, like guilty creatures, │ │
│ │ │With tir'd limbs and haggard features. │ │
│ 7│can be │ │ ♄ ☉ ♊ ♃ ☌ │
│ │ │ The sons of toil, as they come near 'em,│ │
│ 8│the │With coarse-spun jokes begin to jeer 'em; │ withal, │
│ │ │While, _au contraire_, each motley hero, │ │
│ 9│matter? │Whose wit is now far under zero, │ │
│ │ │With 'not a gibe to mock their grinning,' │ │
│10│tiles │Has but a sorry chance of winning. │ ♏ ♐ ♀ ♎ │
│ │ │ │ │
│11│and │ The Clown, with phiz so dull and sad, │ do fit me │
│ │ │Looks grave as Ghost of Hamlet's Dad; │ │
│12│chimney │And Falstaff, now he's lost his stuffing, │ with │
│ │ │Looks lean as lath, and pale as muffin; │ │